I don’t have the exact figures in front of me, but I would estimate five thousand teenage girls get their belly button pierced every single day as a way to piss off their father or get noticed by nineteen year old David Wooderson’s. Four thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine of those rebellious teens don’t get their own celebrity gossip stories about it. Then again, Miley Cyrus could switch to diet Mountain Dew, and I’d end up giving it at least its own blurb. Don’t blame me. Blame the millions of middle schoolers who pass these tidbits around the lunch table like currency.

According to Gossip Gangster Perez Hilton, Hannah Montana showed off her new jewelry at the star-studded Disney bash of a sixteenth birthday she had last weekend. Shockingly, her public relations people haven’t issued a statement to the media as of yet, but I’m guessing father Billy Ray was torn. Getting a naval piercing is a proven moneymaker (he probably likes money), but it’s also a scientific fact belly button rings increase the risk of teenage pregnancy by nine percent (he probably hates grandchildren).

As for me, I’m relatively unfazed by this news, but that doesn’t mean I won’t write a story every time she buys some new bling.

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