Guy walks into a bar. He sees a lady across the room, walks over, and whispers in her ear, “You’re a beautiful girl. Can I buy you a drink?” The two take a few shots before she says, “Let’s go back to my apartment.” “Fine....but just so you know, I’m going to do something pretty kinky when we get there.”

So, they get back to her place and have entirely conventional sex in the missionary position for fifteen minutes. “How was it?” he asks. “It was alright, I guess,” she responds, “But...I thought you said you were going to do something kinky.”

“I did,” he says, grabbing his coat and walking toward the door. “While you were in the bathroom, I shit in your purse.”


George Carlin was the second greatest comedian ever to walk this Earth. He offended, he dazzled, and he inspired an almost cathartic response from his fans. He hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live. He was arrested, as a teenager, at a Lenny Bruce (the greatest comedian ever to walk this Earth) stand-up show. He was a lot of things to a lot of people: notably, a hero to at least this person.

Listen: there are two types of so-called shock comedians: those who think saying bad words are funny and those who think making well-crafted intricate observations about taboo subjects are funny. Somehow, George Carlin fell into both categories. He effortlessly wove a stream of obscenities about shitting, pissing, and fucking with a wry smile, an assured confidence stemming from a realization everyone knew: he was the funniest person in the room.

Born in 1937, George Carlin chuckled his way across this Earth for seventy-one hilarious years. He appeared on television, in movies, and inside the imaginations of thousands of future writers and stand-up comedians. I include writers inside his web of inspiration because his sense of wordplay was truly breathtaking. He’d launch into beautiful alliterative rants, seeming to at least the novice to be improvising but those of us in the know appreciated how much energy it truly took to make raunchy sex sound that fluid.

George Carlin broke every rule ever created. He was once fired for driving a news van to buy marijuana. He swore like a sailor during a time when morality was at the forefront of most people’s minds. In an age where the adjective is strewn about way too much, George Carlin was a true original. The world is a little less cheeky today.

Blended From Around The Web

Can't Miss

Gateway Blend ©copyright 2017