Steve Martin is a part of that small demographic of men who can shamelessly promote themselves while still being intensely likable. For years, he's recklessly furthered his own ego and made us laugh in the process, often thinly veiling his shtick under the guise of helping others learn how to live and achieve. Today brought the latest example of that strange hybrid of help and bragging. Directed toward this year's Oscar host Eddie Murphy, the comedian offered up his advice on the dos and don'ts of emceeing the Academy Awards.

As a three time host of Hollywood's biggest night, twice by himself and once with Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin has far more clout than most interested onlookers, but in his open letter posted on his website, he eschews real world pointers for a long series of jokes and complaints. Here are a few of my favorite excerpts…
”People always say it's a disgrace that neither you nor I have won an Oscar, but they're just being correct.”

“Remember to relax and have a good time while 12,000 live bloggers rip you to shreds.”

“The accountants that certify the voting? Same chad counters from Florida.”

Steve Martin always has that rare quality of finding the perfect tone. Hosting the Academy Awards has long been considered an honorable yet thankless chore. His letter perfectly embodies that disenfranchised spirit, while still keeping in mind not that many people are ever entrusted with the responsibility. The whole thing must be quite a source of both pride and frustration.

In a perfect world, a consortium of men like Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy would work together to write the ceremony every year and rotate hosting responsibilities. We're not there yet, but at least one old pro is willing to have a laugh about his experiences.

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