Hawaii's Ironman Triathlon has been taking place on the islands since 1978. The competition features skilled athletes battling fierce elements and stretching themselves to the physical limits of human capacity. Every Ironman athlete has been rewarded with the absolute honor of being an amazing physical marvel in the eyes of our nation. However, this year Americans will have a true champion worth rooting for during the competition; a tiny Japanese robot.

Panasonic announced today that Evolta, a miniature Japanese robot invented as a battery promotion, will be competing against the athletes of the 2011 Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii. This sassy automaton was created by Tomotaka Takahashi three years ago and it's been laughing in our faces ever since. Evolta has scaled the Grand Canyon, defeated the Le Mans in France, and decimated a portion of highway in Tokyo. Now, Evolta has set its laser-guided eyes on completing the Ironman Triathlon and emasculating our nation once again. Check out the official announcement video below.

Evolta is allowed to run on three AA rechargeable batteries for the competition. That's three times the amount of batteries regular athletes are allowed to use in the Ironman Triathlon, giving the robot a distinct advantage from the get-go. Evolta will have to defeat all running, biking, and swimming courses in one week or face incineration and public mockery. Evolta seems up to the task though, as creator (and mad scientist) Takahashi has been fine-tuning the robot in preparation for the event. Their main worry seems to be the water portion of the race because, as everyone knows, robots don't know how to swim. Still, Takahashi is confident that Evolta is prepared to face the rushing currents and waves of the ocean after extensive training. The machine will use three different transportation attachments to complete Ironman. He'll even be rocking a new paint-job so he can literally make the other Ironman competitors green with envy.

It's unclear how Evolta's family feels about his lofty Ironman goals but I suspect they will be cheering him on from the robot section of the sidelines come October 23rd. Yes, this start date is a few weeks after the human athletes begin the triathlon themselves, but it's probably due to some discussions amongst the judges involving the fairness of allowing Evolta to completely embarrass the other athletes. They've essentially given the flesh-and-blood Ironman Triathletes a head-start. Evolta seems unphased by the politicking as he declined to be reached for contact.

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Blended From Around The Web


Can't Miss

Gateway Blend ©copyright 2017