When Anna Nicole Smith tripped back into our hearts a few years ago via her reality TV show we saw a sad, stuttering, muttering, mess of a mother who seems just not-dangerous enough so that we could laugh at her buffoonery. Lately the story has become so tragic, we ask ourselves on a daily basis: what disgusting new and ugly puzzle piece comes next?

Larry Birkhead, the photographer who insists he is the biological father of Smith's newborn daughter, along with his lawyer Debra Opri, appeared in Los Angeles County Superior Court on Wednesday and asked a judge to subpoena Anna back from the Bahamas and submit to a paternity test. Lawyer Opri also asked to drug test. The hearing has been continued to October 26th.

Of course we're well aware (and many of us are highly dubious) that Smith's attorney Howard K. Stern claims to be the dad, and so far he has not offered any proof of paternity besides a muted interview on Larry King.

Birkhead spoke with ‘MSNBC’'s Rita Cosby on Oct. 2 about the paternity suit:

"I was outraged and angry over Howard K. Stern's remarks on 'Larry King Live' where he claimed to be the father of my baby girl. That really upset me and I was outraged that he tried to hoodwink the American public and Larry King as well," Birkhead said. "I feel that she had deliberately fled to the Bahamas to avoid any talks of custody and visitation and that this was all a highly orchestrated event between herself and her attorney Howard K. Stern."

"Right now I have no rights, no visitation, no rights whatsoever, they were all stripped from me ... I'm ready to fight for my daughter," Birkhead said.

One extra possibility has raised its disturbing head: gossip gabbers have been asking why Smith, one who certainly loves the limelight, shied away to the Bahmas to have the child. A popular conspiracy theory has brought light to the likelihood that a child born there would NOT necessarily be tested for drugs in ITS blood. Let's hope this one stays a rumor.

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