Everything about this next story is icky. Gross, creepy, eerie, whatever adjective you’d like which invokes feelings of I just walked in on my parents fucking.

According to MSNBC, a fifty-two year old thong enthusiast (eww!) is suing panty giant Victoria’s Secret after her undergarment snapped, cutting her eye in three places (eww!). The woman, a city of Los Angeles traffic cop (eww!), underwent procedures at a local hospital after the incident, inspiring at least this writer to utter, “Bet that shit never happened to Lovely Rita.”

Normally, this is the type of story I’d roll my eyes at and never think about again, but any excuse to publish uncensored thong photos here at the Blend is worthwhile. No date has been set for a trial or possible settlement, but any fifty-two year old incapable of putting on panties doesn’t deserve a dime in my book.

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