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Kingdom of Heaven Synopsis

Religion is hot… big ancient battle movies are hot… hey let’s make a movie about the Crusades! Can we hire Ridley Scott? Is Natalie Portman available? No? Is Keira Knightley available? No? Can we find someone who looks like either Keira Knightley or Natalie Portman? Oh and let’s get that hobbit guy who the ladies think is so hot, maybe we can even play elvish music behind him to get them sucked in.

Orlando Bloom stars in Ridley Scott's next project as a young blacksmith who follows a knight on the Crusades to Jerusalem. There, he rises to protect his people from invaders... mostly dirty muslims. Orlando Bloom actually looks sort of manly. No mean feat. Bring on the infidels.

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