The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) Synopsis
Previewed by Joshua Tyler: 2005-05-25It’s pretty easy to bash The Dukes of Hazzard. After all, there’s the whole rebel flag thing, a symbol which in the time since the show’s disappearance has become a hallmark of racism rather than that of fun loving, all embracing rednecks. Then there’s the show itself, which is basically the story of drunk hillbillies running from the cops and blowing things up with dynamite arrows. Alright, maybe it wasn’t genius, but it was a fair bit of fun.
With the movie happening, it’s a brand new opportunity for the Entertainment pundit upper crust to start bashing Dukes fans as children who never grew up, or guys who can’t see the curve of Daisy’s lovely, protruding butt cheeks. These people mind you, are usually the same adults who spend a good portion of their days reading comic books and talking about Hellboy’s love of small kittens.
There’s nothing wrong with nostalgia and there’s certainly something right about shooting explosives from the window of your car with a bow. So you think The Dukes of Hazzard is beneath you. You’re welcome to that. I think comic book properties based on lesser superhero characters are beneath me… and so far movies like Elektra and The Punisher are doing a pretty damn good job of proving me right.
With The Dukes of Hazzard movie fast approaching, the only question really looming in my mind is whether or not they’ll actually keep the rebel flag on “The General Lee”. Actually, I’m shocked that this movie is even being made, with today’s over-sensitivity. Not that I’m in favor of glorifying the South’s history of stupidity and intolerance (face it fellow Southerners, we deserve whatever stereotypes we get), but the show is what it is. If you’re going to bring it into theaters, bring everything right along with it. Yes, even Cooter.
The cast is one of limited talent. Johnny Knoxville has shown a few flashes in the past, but hardly seems to fit the role of Luke Duke. He is a big hick though, which should help. Sean William Scott (Bo Duke) stopped being funny somewhere around 2002. He keeps making movies anyway, and will no doubt bore us all with un-needed comic relief. Comic relief should be coming from Roscoe, who may be getting the short shrift.
Thank god for Jessica Simpson (Daisy Duke), whose dangling ass cheeks make this movie a must see, nostalgia or no. Granted, they’ve screwed up in leaving her hair a sunny blonde, but the lack of pants length easily erases any oversight in the area of hair coloration.
Whatever your reasons for caring about The Dukes of Hazzard, hold your head high and lower your expectations. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about loving Boss Hogg, but please don’t paint a rebel flag on your car. It doesn’t make you cool; it just makes everyone in the south (including me) look stupider. Longhorns on your white Cadillac Convertible are however permissible. Come on, that’s just flat out cool.
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