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As long as there are TV shows out there where people aren’t completely covered up in burlap sacks and masks, the Parents Television Council will be there to make sure some parents know that sex will destroy our younger generations. The latest series to bear the brunt of the PTC’s ire is, unsurprisingly, the WE tv series Sex Box.

It was inevitable that any series with “sex” in its title would draw attention from the PTC, who once tried to get people to boycott America’s Got Talent because shock jock Howard Stern joined the show as a judge. And in true quasi-bureaucratic fashion, they’re not just calling for WE tv to turn Sex Box into something else, they’ve started a petition to get all of the U.S. to stand up against cable and satellite companies in an effort to get WE tv ripped away from subscription plans. Here’s how they put it on their website.
In order for a child to watch the Disney Channel, her parents must now also pay for a live sex show on WE tv. Something is terribly, horribly broken in the marketplace when an industry is capable of making that happen. A live sex show on TV is something that might show up on a premium cable network. But in an affront of all families, WE tv is bringing that content to basic cable, and is potentially exposing millions of children to graphic content in the process.”

I believe it was Nostradamus whose prophecy stated, “It is only with a la carte cable packaging that the youth of the world will be saved from sex by the same parents who had sex in order to conceive them.” Or maybe that was on a bathroom wall.

The somewhat odd part of the PTC’s rage here is that, for all intents and purposes, Sex Box looks like a boring trip through couple’s therapy that happens to have a giant box in the back that people supposedly have sex in, although there are no cameras in there, and the box is soundproof. There’s literally no “proof” that sex is happening at all – although the post-coital glow is hard to replicate – and it seems about as lewd as an episode of Loveline on mute.

Check out the trailer below to get what I mean.

For those who want something that shows a little more skin and less “giant lit-up box,” there’s always Dating Naked, which hasn’t ruined our youth yet. There’s also that upcoming British show about sex in vans with porn star Rebecca More.

Sex Box is set to premiere on WE tv on Friday, February 27. In the meantime, I’ll be mulling over whether or not I should change the name of my new project, Masturbation Hot Dog Stand.
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