TV Recap: The Hills—Grilling Fresh Meat

Brody’s beachside BBQs have become a staple the way every episode of The O.C. revolves around a party (Okay, so there have only been two, but still). Brody’s latest bash, however, marked an awkward change: Lauren had a date who (yes, she did a background check) was in no way related to her circle of friends.

It’s pretty hard not to dwell on the irony of Gavin’s asking Lauren out—Gavin, who got Lauren’s number at a Teen Vogue casting call, is a model who had met Lauren on a previous Teen Vogue shoot where Lauren tried to set him up with Heidi. An overjoyed Lauren basked in the aftermath of the number exchange. She and Whitney pondered what things could’ve been like had Heidi gone out with him. What’s even more ironic, though, is that Gavin turned out to be a dud who lacked Spencer’s flair (okay, I know I’m praising Spencer here, but, I mean, a personality is better than none).

Flair is certainly a polite word for Spencer’s downright malevolence. His volatile temper flared when Heidi informed him that she’d have to work an event when he planned a surprise make-up anniversary dinner, and later when he visited her at work, but she couldn’t have lunch with him because she had a meeting. It’s endlessly amusing to watch Speidi arguments when Heidi is undeniably in the right (which is, actually, the definition of a Speidi fight), but I would’ve like to have seen more interaction between Heidi and Kimberley—Elodie’s replacement. From the sparse footage we got of her, Kimberley seemed like a less feisty Elodie (a tough co-worker to live up to) who's just doing this job to get on The Hills. The name exchange between Heidi and Kimberley had to have been completely unnecessary, like, seriously, who doesn’t know Heidi Montag?

Gavin accompanied Lauren to Brody’s who-cares-if-we-don’t-actually-have-an-occasion-to-celebrate celebration where he faced the scrutiny of Lo (“I love passing judgment on people!”), Audrina, and Brody who everyone (and by everyone I mean Frankie and Lo, obviously) seemed to think still had feelings for Lauren. Residual feelings from the Vegas bedscapade were palpable as Brody figuratively grilled Gavin as the two literally grilled the meat (flawless doubling!). The scene felt strangely like the Crested Butte chat between Heidi’s stepfather and Spencer, minus the horses. Brody’s verdict: nice but not Lauren’s type. Audrina’s verdict: same thing, plus that goofy smile she puts on for the camera (anyone else notice that?).

Aspiring model-actor Gavin continued to seal his own wow-I-just-blew-an-extended-stint-on-The Hills-that-could’ve-done-wonders-for-my-career fate as he bored Lauren at dinner and ordered the baked salmon roll even after she told him she didn’t like salmon. Lauren’s look of disgust as she begrudgingly swallowed the salmon roll and feigned satisfaction did all the speaking. That’s why it wasn’t surprising when she got home and called Brody who quickly came over to watch a movie so the two could salvage the night. If it weren’t for the magazines and the blogs I’d say a relationship between the two was a guarantee for the end of the season, but, well, we would’ve heard about it already, right?