We’ve got zombie mutant things, people! And at least one of them moves fast enough to blur his body. I don’t really know what we’re supposed to be assuming here. I’m not going out on a limb by saying they are probably results of Dr. Arden’s godless experiments. But I don’t know what their purpose is. Perhaps in his work on Shelley, this will become clear.

From big monsters to little monsters. After Shelley blows that guard, Arden catches her and has no problem attempting to use her in all the whorish ways he’s previously judged her for. He takes her forcibly from behind, and just when you think, “Wow, FX is kind of pushing the envelope here,” he pulls back, and the televised rape scene is stopped by Shelley laughing hysterically at Arden’s inferior genitalia. “Were you in an accident? You’re seven feet tall. I thought you’d be hung like…” Her insults are stopped cold as Arden knocks her unconscious. Shelley doesn’t understand the five necessary functions of life are food, water, air, shelter, and don’t antagonize your rapist. She awakens later, strapped to Arden’s table. He tells her everyone else thinks she’d run away in the woods, so no one was looking for her there. Then the big reveal of her amputated legs, cut off above the knee. What the fuck? I guess he’s going to attach some other legs to her and put her out in the woods at some point to forage for berries.

The drunken Jude is still wandering, looking for the Mexican woman, when she hears a few noises and investigates. She hears Arden screaming at his statue. And then it happens. A motherfucking alien appears over her shoulder. And that’s it. Jude is later woken up in her bed. Maybe he was a friendly alien. But still. Was it looking for Kit or its black thing in Arden’s jar? I’m glad it looked more like The Fly’s creature than a normal grey alien. But still. Onscreen aliens. Sheesh.

After being chased by zombie creatures, Lana, Kit, and Grace retreat back into the tunnel and the relative safety and dryness of movie night. By this point, Jude is up and yelling at the guard for being careless and telling everyone that this new movie night tradition is already over, since three people are missing. Not the three soaking wet lumps, but Shelley, the Mexican, and I assume Pepper, who had asked to go to the bathroom. And Jude refers to a “pinhead” being missing. Is that profiling?

At some point, Lana is going to get out of there and write the story that will blow the doors off of that place. But for now, she’s still stuck. This was a pretty tense episode, from a camerawork perspective. The scenes inside the public area made me jittery. The camera was constantly in motion, and nobody in the room sat still at all. I make people nervous with my own jittery actions. Now I know how they feel.

With all that out of the way, tonight’s cold open was pretty spectacular. Continuing from last week, Bloody Face has just finished stabbing Adam Levine and bursts through the door on the screaming Teresa. Just as she’s about to be killed, Levine leaps back into the room, knocking Bloody Face over. Teresa grabs his weapon and stabs him repeatedly. She and Levine limp down the hallway until they come to another Bloody Face; they turn, and there’s another. One of them points a gun and shoots both Teresa and Levine dead before pulling his mask off to reveal a normal looking teen or twenty-something. The other one pulls his mask off too. “That’s what you get for stabbing Joe,” one says, apparently as backwoods insane as the other. Just as they both ponder who could have ripped Adam Levine’s arm off, the real Bloody Face comes after them. Kind of silly, sure. And it’s almost the exact plot to a terrible recent horror movie. But I liked it. It exemplified this series’ talent for taking a long scenic route just to get back to square one.

The Inane Asylum

“A movie full of fire, sex, and the death of Christians. What fun.” This line, and Mary Eunice’s obvious displeasure at being taken away from the movie before the Christians got eaten, may have possibly boosted her to being my favorite character so far.

Was anyone else amused by the broken eyeglasses that were seemingly smashed across the whole front without a proper point of impact? The cracks were just random and all over the place. Could the prop department not just break a real pair of glasses?

I’m not sure if it’s an old Hollywood acting trick, but did you ever notice how an actor will give off the appearance of being drunk by taking a swig of a bottle, lolling their head around, and then wiping their mouth by wetly inhaling the back of their hand? Lange does it here. This is not behavior seen in clubs across America. But it speaks to me.

When Lange says, “…just another bitter disappointment...” during her movie intro, it was the episode’s most perfect moment.

When the show started, I thought Sarah Paulson’s character was going to be the anchor holding this thing together, and I couldn’t be more pleased about being wrong. I like the actress, but none of the characters she ever plays.

Not sure if Thredson asking about Jed’s autopsy report will turn into anything. It seems like a good way to attract mass attention to the corrupt building, so it could happen.

“Go through those doors, through the staff lounge and into the boiler room.”
“And that will take us where? Narnia?”
I wonder how many younger people will think this is an anachronism, while referring to it as something other than an anachronism.

“I thought I repulsed you.”
“Any port in a storm.”
The direct reference to the storm was laughable, but there’s something so ugly about insulting somebody just before you try to rape them. He doesn’t appeal to her sense of safety before completely denying it. For someone who paid to have a classy dinner with a whore last week, Arden certainly has trouble understanding his moral center and sense of etiquette.

Shelley wants to go to Paris, but she hasn’t got a leg to stand on. Nyuk. And that’s how I end it. Happy All Saint’s Day.

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