The Nazi aspect might not even be needed to lock Arden’s ass away. The monsignor is called to the hospital due to an abomination of a human being having been brought in. Yes, the bulbous, bloated monster in the hospital bed is Shelley, and Howard strangles her to death with his rosary, not allowing any chance for proof to come back on Briarcliff. He later calls Arden out for being a monster himself. His back story flamboyantly takes us to Howard’s first arrival at the asylum, and his first meetings with Arden, who impresses upon him the chance to use the forgotten-to-the-world patients for a greater cause. In Arden’s case, the greater cause is mutating Americans so they can outlive a Russian nuclear attack. Of course it is.

Arden then introduces yet another mystery by telling Howard if he doesn’t get his way, he’d illuminate everything in Briarcliff. “And I mean everything.” What is the monsignor hiding? Lots of underaged boys’ junk in his mouth? At times, maybe.

Mary Eunice shows Arden everything Goodman had on him. Well, she did hide some evidence just in case he tries double crossing her. Arden is once again forced to defend himself, earning himself awards cred by the time he screamed out “money grubbing Jews!” He wonders why Mary Eunice is protecting him, and she tells him all he has to do is trust her with his entire soul and everything would work out. Faust, Tom Walker, Max Devlin, and now Arthur Arden. Now I’m intrigued to watch him get his comeuppance at the hands of Satan, rather than Jude or any other worldly beings.

Finally, our present day story isn’t over yet. Current Bloody Face, who doesn’t sound like Thredson, assuming he’d still be doing this in his 80s, even if he’d received Arden’s “live forever” formula. He left the three fake-B.F.’s hanging by the main staircase, but the madman himself has the new bride strapped to an operating table. More mommy issues? How in God’s name is this going to tie in with the main flashback story?

A solid episode of this show doing what it does best: giving viewers lots of asses and bizarre dialogue. I anticipate AHS like no other show in history, because there will often be at least a dozen moments in the show that I could not have possibly predicted or seen in any other form of media. It’s as if all of Takashi Miike’s non-yakuza movies were tossed into a blender and set to “Fun.” I’m not sure how many will be taking the time out of their holiday to read this, but I am thankful for you, readers, and I hope your day is filled with food, family, and non-alliteratively, naps. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Inane Asylum

I hope in one episode, Joe Fiennes takes a mask off and it’s really just been Dylan McDermott under there all this time. And then he kills himself.

“And it was poetic justice that I would be meeting her for the first time on a slab in my gross anatomy lab.” Beyond being a line that someone actually wrote down, it sounded as if the second half of the line was ADR’d post-production, so Thredson gets really intense in the middle. Powerful stuff, that.

I will never enjoy Sarah Paulson more than in the shot of her sweaty, tear-stained face smiling her way through eating a ham and cheese sandwich. There’s something so human about the severe lack of conceit one must have to look like that. Or a lack of a home and sanity.

Why would such a wallflower thumb-in-the-bum like Mary Eunice go to a pool party in the first place, and why would she agree to get naked, standing on a diving board as a centerpiece? If she wanted to fit in more, she should have just taken off the swim cap.

I’m not sure what aspect of the show I should be complimenting here. Before Jenny’s mom is even finished her story, Jude is already reaching for a Bible, which she then sticks in the woman’s hands and says she can’t help. It’s like getting a rotten candy after a doctor visit where you learned you have a fatal disease.

These people refer to Pittsburgh as if it’s the last place anyone would want to be on Earth. I withhold my judgment.

With all the bad press chronic masturbators get on this show, I’m starting to feel like I’m doing something wrong.

Did anyone else expect Rob Zombie to come out when Arden professed that his experiments had been “less than men,” but were now “more than human.” Yeahhh, I am the Astro-Creep…

I wonder if Mark Margolis had ever been called an Israeli Sherlock Holmes before. To me, he looks like Jew Charlie Chan.

Blended From Around The Web


Hot Topics

Gateway Blend ©copyright 2017