Beef Consommé
As much as “Beef Consommé” is about Michael and G.O.B. (and Buster, by extension) fighting over the love of Marta and the conclusion of the entire “Hermano” mini-plotline, this episode stands out for its key moments where Michael acts purely in self-preservation and for Tobias’ short-lived breakthrough in Never-Nudism.

“It sounds like someone who you think’s name is Tio is about to get his ass kicked.”

G.O.B. is such a moron. Despite taking four years of Spanish, he still doesn’t know hermano means brother, though he does know how to say brother in both French and Italian. His motives are unclear in this episode, as he wants to beat someone up, but then allows Michael and Marta to be together, but then gets mad when Buster tells him they were kissing. And Buster (with or without the mariachi band) trying to get involved with Marta is truly ridiculous, especially with his discomfort for Lucille 2 on the backburner. But who gives a shit about deeper meanings and motivations when it all comes together in a big yard brawl? I’ll be sorely disappointed if this next season comes and goes without at least four people rumbling in the grass. Much like the ridiculous “Mr. F” storyline in season three, I was glad to see the Marta storyline end, if only because she was written more as a constant foil than as an actual character.

We meet Judge Ping for the first time at George Sr.’s trial and discover that he and Barry don’t have the greatest relationship. I have trouble thinking of anyone who enjoys Barry.

”Call it what you want. I’m tired of paying Lupe to clean one dish.”

I love this episode because it features a very optimistic George Michael trying to find out whether Maeby could have possibly been adopted. He asks Lucille if Lindsay had ever been pregnant, and her response, “Oh yes, dozens of times,” does nothing for his hopes, but it certainly is a dark comment. And when he tries to get information from his uncle, Tobias unleashes his non-heterosexuality by starting to explain sex to George Michael. “When a man actually wants to make love to a woman…” And when George Michael cuts him off, Tobias is clearly pleased, not wanting to discuss something so “ugh, gross.” Never-Nudity comes up again, and we find out that two members of German parliament were also members of this strange community. “Nein Wohlstandig.”

But then Tobias and Lindsay actually get down to some love making by the end of the episode, which leads Tobias to come down to breakfast completely nude. Not a lot of consistency with this guy, but it’s played for big laughs. Especially when we find out he’s wearing something else underneath the cut-off shorts.


Things That Make The Episode Memorable

G.O.B. likes to make love to the sound of his own singing voice. Natch.

“You selfish c…ountry music loving lady. Hello, Maeby.”

Perhaps the only time a TV character is referred to as “the weird brother of prime rib.”

“Am I in 2/3 of a hospital room?”

It is invigorating to see Michael at the end of this episode, truly proud of himself that Marta chose him over G.O.B., even if he’s the only one that sees it that way. It’s the rare moment where he can use life experience rather than a witty quip to raise himself above his sibling.

The family eating breakfast at a table with a fake turkey in the middle of it.

Oscar de la Hoya.


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