In what may be the single creepiest moment on Sons thusfar, Carla blankly looks at Nero and says, “I just wanted to go out watching you do your thing,” before turning the gun on herself and nastily taking her own life. I really just thought she’d come to her senses and take off, but this worked out better, and was worth the perma-grimace on my face. Gemma asks about the “sweet brother” line, and Nero admits Carla was his half-sister, whom he’d saved from a drug-ridden street life, as she also forced him into cleaning up his act. She was in love with him, despite the sticky relation situation, and had apparently stopped taking her medication. If this seems sad, it’s certainly twisted around as Gemma looks down at Carla’s corpse and says, “Hope you’re happy, bitch.” Dead or alive, Gemma has an angry four or five letter word for it.

Gemma calls Wayne for help with the body, as cops are a no-no. Wayne, who misunderstood Nero’s arrival at Gemma’s earlier, is jealous and doesn’t take the call. They later cause a scene that ends in Wayne telling Gemma that she’s going to die alone like him if she keeps on the way she’s doing. “You got no friends. Just people who do shit for you.” I’d almost feel bad for Wayne, but come on. There’s got to be another vagina in California that he can obsess over.

Without Wayne, Gemma calls Clay to dispose of the bodies. He and Juice get the job done, and when Nero comes knocking later, when Gemma isn’t home yet, Clay tells him that Carla is being cremated, and that her ashes will go back to Nero to dispose of. Perhaps mirroring a still-living John Teller, Clay asks Nero man-to-man if his relationship with Gemma is serious, and Nero can only sigh and say he doesn’t know. While I like seeing the hurt in Clay’s face in these scenes, I don’t really understand why Nero would stick with Gemma. She’s only trouble. At least Wayne has a lifetime of fawning over her. Nero only has a few instances of group sex. Oh wait…now I get it.

The smallest plotline from tonight’s show might become highly interesting in weeks to come. Tara goes to the prison for work, but mostly to talk to Otto. She tells him who she is, and tells him that Bobby was released, and that the Feds have stalled the RICO case, and Otto’s execution date will also be stalled. Tara would do anything to get him to reverse his testimony. Only when he knowingly tells her to get on her knees, she says she won’t do it, and he says he won’t either. Nobody’s getting oral sex in this show tonight! He tells her not to come back, and not to make him do something horrible. And this isn’t a show that lets idle threats die.

When Jax asks Tara if she was able to contact Otto, she lies and says things were too backed up, but that she would definitely see him the next week. Tara is not usually the type of character whose assertions lead her to successes. I have no clue what Otto is still capable of, but I’ll know soon, I’m sure. If we could avoid having to watch Tara healing from another injury, that would be just fine. For now, Jax wants to take her up to the cabin, just the two of them. Because that’s always possible as a father and motorcycle club president.

What the what? Joel McHale in a cowboy hat makes Mommy jokes with Gemma as she gets drunk at a bar. “Mind if I have a seat?” “Mind if I don’t give a shit?” His name is Warren and his game is conning. More on that at a later date.

More action and bike fumes next week. It looks like it might be a doozey. Join me then.

Stuff That Fell Off the Back of the Bike

“Home Invasion Targets Sheriff” is the headline on the paper at the beginning of the show. My wife works for a newspaper (Please, control your sympathy for her.), so we’re used to talking about dumbass headlines, but this one is particularly daffy. It’s like “Football Game Suspected in Fans’ Displeasure.” A non-sentient event can’t target anyone. Is anyone still reading? “Column Heightens Writer’s Anxieties.”

“Mind if I come by later to check in? I can do a sweep for crazy bitches,” Clay says, as the body on the floor continues to bleed out from her head wound. Bile-black humor. I love it.

How is the snow globe’s glass stronger than Mackey’s cranium? I was hoping to see it smash on the killing blow, and a fade to commercial as the snowflakes dropped onto his dead face. Poetry.

Had to check to see what Chibs meant when he called Roosevelt a “dooney bastard.” One definition was “someone lacking intelligence or someone who commits thoughtless acts.” Also, “a retarded homosexual who sucks at life.” But since Roosevelt was married, we’ll go with the first.

Juice used to be my favorite of the non-essentials, but after last season with all his whining about people finding out he’s half-black, killing Miles, and ratting to the sheriff, I’d almost wished his suicide would have gone through. Now that his nose is the same shade as Clay’s asshole, I like him even less. I do not see Filthy Phil taking his place.

Tig says that killing Mackey’s wife was good for him, and Chibs kisses his cheek. Tig is obviously insane, and Chibs obviously won’t do anything to change anyone’s personalities. Spinoff! Spinoff! Spinoff!

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