Survivor: Redemption Island Preview

Next Wednesday (2/16) will see the onset of Survivor’s 22nd season. Like most past season’s, this year’s cast will feature the usual admixture of gorgeous young people, sympathetic old people, and more than a few twists and turns. It will feature the return of two of Survivor most recognizable and, dare I say, notorious contestants ever, and it will feature a change in the game that has never been used before: namely, Redemption Island.

Shot in the vicinity of San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua (pretty much the same locale as last season), Redemption Island works thusly: When a contestant is voted off their tribe, instead of leaving the game, they are taken to the area known as Redemption Island. There, they will have to sustain themselves in the same manner as when they were with their tribe, living on limited food and water supplies and shelter. When the next contestant is voted off, they are also sent to Redemption Island, and the two people will face off in a duel challenge. The winner remains in the game, living at Redemption Island, while the loser is finally removed from the game. At pre-determined points in the game, the person at Redemption Island will have a chance to return to the game and be reunited with the remaining players in the game.

You know, that looks good on paper, but will what are the chances that a player voted out once that ends up back in the game will not just get immediately voted out again? Time will tell, I guess. The two notorious former contestants that will be front and center this season are none other than:

“Boston” Rob Mariano, 35

Originally appeared on Survivor: Marquesas, then in the first All-Stars season, where he met, fell in love, and proposed to that season’s winner, Amber Brkich. He has also been on The Amazing Race with Amber (twice), and recently appeared on Survivor again in the Heroes vs. Villains season.

Russell Hantz, 38

Yes, Evil Russell is back again. He first appeared in Survivor: Samoa and then came right back for the Heroes vs. Villains season, where he went head-to-head with Boston Rob for tribal control… and won. He made it all the way to the finals in both seasons, but got clobbered in the Final Vote both times, mostly because, even though he may very well the greatest strategist in the history of Survivor, he’s also one of the least personable.

People don’t like him. They may respect him, even defer to him, but they won’t give him a million dollars. Never mind the fact that he is a millionaire already, he illogically assumes that the winner should always be the player who played the best game; and while making and breaking alliances has always been the norm for this show, Russell still can’t seem to contemplate that burning bridges with former allies that sit in judgment of him on the jury is never going to get him the victory he so craves.

Obviously, these two will be instantly known to their tribe-mates. It is worth noting that even though they are famous, they will receive no perks or special Immunity because of it. Though their continued presence may be good for TV, it could easily occur that they will be the first two to go bye-bye. Though these two characters are ones you just love to hate, I’m not sure I could stand watching them do their shticks for yet another full season. Thank heaven for small mercies, such as the fact that they will be placed on opposite teams: Boston Rob will be on the Ometepe tribe, and Evil Russell will (try to) lead the Zapatera tribe. Let’s meet the rest of the gang:

Ometepe Tribe

Andrea Boehlke, 21

She is a student at the University of Wisconsin at Stevens Point. Pretty and blonde, she hopes to use farm-girl charms to her advantage, and her outdoorsy skills to endure. Despite her rural upbringing, she got the nickname “Barbie” in high school, and one of her “pet peeves” is… electric staplers. I mean, really? No offense, Barbie, but I put your chances of winning this season as next to nil.

Ashley Underwood, 25

She is a nurse from Benton, ME. Also a farm girl like Andrea, she has played professional basketball in Europe and has also competed in the Miss USA competition. Strikingly beautiful and very athletic-looking. My initial opinion of her is that she seems to have a lot more going on upstairs than Andrea, and I hope she keeps her pageant background to herself, lest her tribe-mates get the wrong impression of her. Otherwise, she could go far.

Francesca Hogi, 36

Francesca Hogi, 36 - She is an attorney from Washington, DC. She is muscular, outspoken, and the only African-American woman this season. She is easily more intelligent than ten NaOnkas put together, but more likable? That remains to be seen. She says that she has “no problem hurting people’s feelings”, likes to “talk trash”, and is “impatient”. She compares herself to former contestant Cirie, who… no, not buying it. Cirie was very likeable and motherly, and Francesca seems the polar opposite to that. I see her going out early. And so help me, if she goes all “Miss Thang” on us poor viewers, I’m going to scream…

Grant Mattos, 29

He is a yoga instructor/personal trainer from West Hollywood, CA, and was formerly a wide receiver in the NFL, playing for three teams (the Chargers, Broncos and Titans) between 2003 and 2006. He seems quite likable, and definitely has the physical prowess to excel, but I hope that his awful-looking dreadlocks are beaten to death by the elements. Being an ex-footballer, I assume he’s comfortably well-off, and that might work against him. Still, I hope he makes it at least to the jury.

Kristina Kell, 46

She is a law student at the University of La Verne in Malibu, CA. She relates that her interest in law came when her oldest son was diagnosed with autism, because it was motivational to discover just what the law was as it pertained to people with disabilities. She has championed the cause of people like her son, butting heads with school districts and such to get them the education they deserve, to which I say… you go, girl! Obviously, Kristina is going to be a fan favorite, as well as a sympathetic one. Based on the introductory videos alone, I want her to win (and she says she will).

Matt Elrod, 22

He is a premed student from Nashville, TN. And, after getting a load of his picture, I am sorry that poor Jud from last season was dubbed “Fabio”, because this guy looks so much like Fabio it’s scary. Muscular, with long, flowing blond locks, he looks like he stepped right off the cover of a bad romance novel. He says his strategy is to come off as a lot dumber than he is, playing the “surfer dude” to the hilt. Well, that worked for Jud, but lightning rarely strikes twice, let alone in back-to-back seasons. I can only hope that the animosity that is bound to come up between Matt and Francesca doesn’t explode like it did between Jud and NaOnka last season.

Natalie Tenerelli, 19

She is a professional dancer from Acton, CA, and is the youngest female contestant in the history of Survivor. Though young, her dancing background has given her lots of experience dealing with people of all ages, and professes that she will be the “nice girl”, even though she also has a “sneaky, dark side”. Hmm. She talks a good game, and she’s certainly attractive, but I think that her tribe-mates will look at her as the little kid who wants to tag along with the cooler, older kids, and will snuff her torch in relatively short order. She’s going to have an uphill battle the entire time, whatever the case. I wish her luck.

Phillip Sheppard, 52

He is a technology executive from Santa Monica, CA, is the oldest contestant this season, and is the only African-American man. He also has a military background and spent some time working for the D.O.D. His shaven head and leonine features make him look considerably younger, and his experience and intelligence could take him far. Additionally, he seems to have as much going for him physically as mentally. Let’s just hope that his analytical brain doesn’t burst into full-blown paranoia, because it’s a very fine line.

Zapatera Tribe

David Murphy, 31

David Murphy, 31 - He is a defense attorney from West Hollywood, CA, and from his introductory video, I like him a lot. He seems to be very intelligent and strategic, and is good at reading people. He knows going in to keep the more overt phases of his personality well-guarded, which says a lot. The thing he hates more than anything is “stupid people”, which is something we have in common; he would probably have despised NaOnka as much as I did. I am also thankful that he’s on Boston Rob’s team and not Evil Russell’s, because I would fear for his safety in that case. Let’s hope Russell is out of the game before the merge.

Julie Wolfe, 50

She is a firefighter from Oceanside, CA. She is also a former world champion in the sport of canoeing, and is a divorced mother of two. She admits to been in dire straits financially, which will probably make her a fan favorite. She also says that she’s “catty”, which might endear her to the men and piss off the women. Given her background, I want to believe that she’s tough enough to go the distance, but it’s a true rarity that the oldest woman in the game makes it to the halfway point, let alone the Final Three.

Krista Klumpp, 25

She is a pharmaceutical rep from Columbia, SC. She is a “true Southern girl” (originally from Alabama), a former head cheerleader at Auburn University, and also competed in the Miss USA pageant. (Sigh… is there now a quota for pageant girls?) She says that she looks forward to roughing it, and believes that her strategy will lie in her ability to “make connections” with people. We’ll see how that goes. My hopes aren’t high. Seriously, it seems like every young pretty blond girl starts her introduction by debunking the fact that “because she’s blond, she’s dumb”, and her mission is to prove that that’s not true in her case. Do people really think that all blond girls are dumb anymore? And that pageant girls are the same way? Sheesh.

Mike Chiesl, 31

He is a former marine who now lives in Del Mar, CA. He lists his “claim to fame” as “bringing home all my marines after my first deployment to Iraq.”, and his inspiration is his grandfather, who was a WWII bomber-pilot who spent two years as a POW. He is very ruggedly handsome, and definitely not a “pretty boy”. I think his military training will take him far in this game, just as long as he doesn’t feel the need to “take command”. Others might look to him as a potential leader, and would probably be right to do so, but we all know what happens to leaders on this show.

Ralph Kiser, 45

He is a farmer from Lebanon, VA. He prides himself on his work ethic, being debt-free and owning two homes on the same farm. He looks a lot like Larry the Cable Guy (only slimmer and with a huge goatee), complete with the drawl. He loves the outdoors and is obviously a good ol’ boy at heart. I like him immediately. He looks like he could be the most congenial player in the game, and if he has the smarts and chutzpah to go with it, he could be a force to be reckoned with. He’ll make good TV, that’s for sure.

Sarita White, 36

She is a visual effects producer from Santa Monica, CA. She had an interesting childhood, being born to parents who decided to buy a plot of land in the middle of nowhere and build everything themselves. Which is… different, I grant you. However, since she has a job that requires some technical savvy, I’m guessing she didn’t opt for a similar lifestyle as Ma and Pa. She’s tough to read, which means I’m pinning the “Wild Card” stamp on her for the moment.

Stephanie Valencia, 26

She is a waitress from Long Beach, CA. She says that, as far as comparisons to past contestants goes, she could be the love child of Parvati and Evil Russell. Can’t wait to see how she and her “father” get along… She is pretty but not, like, pageant pretty, and if there is a she-devil in the bunch, Stephanie is it.

Steve Wright, 51

Like Grant, he is an ex-NFL player, having played a very respectable thirteen seasons as an offensive tackle for the Cowboys, Colts and Raiders before retiring in 1993. He still looks like he’s in hella good shape for 51, and I am willing to bet that if two major alliances form within Zapatera, Steve will be the one in charge of the group that Russell is NOT in.

So that’s this season’s crop. Eighteen contestants (ten of them from California, what’s up with that?), two former miss USA contestants, two ex-footballers, and two former – and probably current – villains, and one brand new twist. Tune in starting next week to see how it all shakes out.

Survivor: Redemption Island premieres Wednesday, February 16 (8:00 - 9:00 PM ET/PT) on the CBS.