Clark was last week’s winner of the swimming pool photo shoot and her picture is on display in the Top Model House with sample judges’ descriptions plastered across it: “fiery,” “strong,” and “blew me away.”

Marjorie experiences some weird culture shock because those damn American girls are so overly confident! I guess it’s completely Euro-chic to be on the verge of heaving every time she appears before the judges. Poor thing doesn’t realize how much she already relates to the average teenage American girl – anxiety and self loathing are in! Inner resolve and healthy ego? An utter myth. Tyra Mail: “Just because it doesn’t fit, doesn’t mean you should be clothes minded. Love, Tyra”

The girls meet Paulina Porizkova at a warehouse for their first challenge of the week. I’m glad Clark points out how hideous Paulina’s outfit is – I can never tell with these fashion types whether it’s on purpose or not. Turns out it is. Paulina explains that 90% of a model’s career entails catalogue work, and if they’re presented with an oversized outfit for a shoot they have to make it work, by any means necessary. Their challenge is to wear an assigned outfit and make it fit using tools such as shoulder pads, binder clips, and rolls of duct tape.

Marjorie fails to fix her baggy pants to Paulina’s liking and freaks out when given (weak) criticism; she almost whips out a hair shirt and starts flogging herself. Frenchie needs to take a chill pill, literally. But Paulina gets her. She explains to the girls that it’s socially acceptable in Europe to be timid and negative.

Paulina tells Samantha she’s the ultimate loser of the challenge because she altered her outfit too much, making it unrecognizable to both the consumer and the seller. McKey wins for looking less terrible than everyone else; she’s awarded 50 extra frames for her photo shoot.

Back at the Top Model house, Marjorie continues to break down but the other girls are sick and tired of her whining, especially Sam. When she questions whether Marjorie will be able to make it as a top model, M grows a pair and lashes back. Don’t mess with the French!

Tyra Mail: “Are you a force of nature, a devastating beauty, or a total disaster? Love, Tyra”

The girls go to Siren Studios for their photo shoot challenge. They enter and see a set with a shrunken replica of a cityscape. Then the lights dim and out pops a B-movie monster reject. No need to be scared, girls – it’s just Jay Manuel in costume trying to make a point (even if the point has very little to do with the shoot). What’s this week’s lesson? Make an impact. The challenge is to pose as L.A. disasters.

Elina: Earthquake
Elina achieves what Tyra calls “the definition of ugly pretty.” A little snarl can go a long way and Paulina likes the mean look too.

Sheena: Sandstorm
Jay appreciates her variety of poses. Guest judge and photographer Brian Edwards likes her energy on set, although he warns her against dying out. Nigel Barker loves, loves, loves the picture; he finds it charming and playful. He also likes Sheena’s spunky personality. Paulina agrees that she adds fire to the competition, but she feels Sheena doesn’t quite get there in the looks department.

Clark: Blackout
Clark still feels incredibly confident after last week’s win, but Jay knocks her down a peg or two. She’s supposed to be tearing down miniature power lines, but she concentrates too much effort on just looking pretty. Jay doesn’t see any commitment to the theme and neither does Tyra. She advises Clark to work on getting more emotion into her face. Nigel finds her picture the dullest of all the girls’ photos this week.

Lauren Brie: Snowstorm
Brian finds most of her film too posey but was glad they managed to capture at least one shot where she’s playing with the fake snow. Paulina tells her that she has to do more than just take a pretty picture to reach the next level. Tyra informs her that Jay felt she kept depending on the same angular poses with her arms; she’s too stiff and needs to learn to let go.

Joslyn: Rockslide
Everyone recognizes that Jossy hasn’t recovered from last week’s photo shoot where she almost drowned (not really); she’s lost confidence in herself and it shows. Jay wants her to revisit her first couple of shoots and regain her presence and creativity. Nigel points out that the bar has been raised by the other girls and she needs to match or surpass their level to stay in the competition.

Analeigh: Santa Ana Winds
The team on set uses a wind machine and blow dryer to portray gale force winds. Nigel isn’t really impressed but still finds the pic cute. Tyra and Paulina both love her film, but J. Alexander would’ve liked to see a little extra something from the neck up.

McKey: Heat Wave
She doesn’t really need her extra 50 frames; Jay is impressed early in the shoot and finds all her pictures amazing. Nigel and Tyra successfully agree and disagree at the same time – although she interacted well with the set, both essentially feel she could have collapsed into her pose a bit more to portray the sweltering heat.

Samantha: Tidal Wave
Sam doesn’t want to end up back in the bottom two, so she brings a fighting spirit to the shoot. Jay loves her energy and creativity, and he’s particularly impressed with her ability to create a wall of water with a sweep of her arm or leg through the on-set mini-Pacific. Ms. J. finds her face “exquerjit” (that’s “exquisite” in J-speak) and Nigel likes her contorted body (my body’s pretty contorted, Nigel – maybe I can send you some shots…).

Marjorie: Traffic Jam
Marjorie’s insecurity gets the best of her and she second-guesses herself badly on set. Jay is forced to actually get up from his chair and do some work – he does not appreciate having to “spoon feed” her the right poses in order to get the best picture. But he does and it works. She looks fabulous, but of course still feels like a failure. As with Sam, Nigel likes the body contortions, and he even sees an improvement in her presence before the judges. Yeah, I guess she is a little less twitchy this week. Paulina loves her, but maybe she’s just running to her Euro soul sister’s defense.

Samantha climbs her way up from the very bottom to the tippy-top and is declared the winner (I guess her haterade didn’t come back to bite her. Yet…). Bottom two: Joslyn, for slipping and bowing to the pressure, and Clark, for being eh. Well, so-so won’t cut it. Joslyn’s personality wins out and Clark gets the shock of her life. Next big lesson to learn, girls: Don’t rest on your laurels!

Okay, so here are my top three, the girls I see at the Cover Girl photo shoot and possibly in the runway finale:

1. Marjorie
She may not act the part of a confident top model, but isn’t that title a bit oxymoronic anyway? She looks the part and that’s all that matters in the fashion world. Nervous twitches and negative energy aside, she always kills it in front of the camera.

2. Joslyn
I’m so glad Jossy made it through this week’s elimination because she’s been one of my favorites to win since the beginning of the season. She’s gorgeous, can rock it on the runway (blindfolded, no less), and can take a beautiful and dynamic picture. She just needs to dig down deep and find herself again. Oh, and she needs to do something about that horrendous voice. Then again, if Danielle’s Arkansas drawl couldn’t stop her from winning Cycle 6, anything’s possible.

3. Lauren Brie
Isis would’ve been my third pick, but since she’s gone I’m going to settle for Lauren Brie. She’s been slipping under the radar for weeks now and I think that will definitely work to her advantage. McKey isn’t interesting enough, Analeigh and Samantha aren’t consistent enough, and Elina’s going to allow her control freak nature to destroy her.

Wild Card: Sheena
My girl! I love her to death and believe she just could be the first Asian winner of ANTM. But can the judges look past her sexpot image? Next Week: Tyra teaches the girls the art of the signature pose, and Elina needs to finally let go or go home.

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