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And the holy crap moments continue on The Office. Last week Michael made the impulsive decision after the new VP Charles began to take over the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin, threatening Michael’s authority. We were left to wonder whether or not Michael really meant it when he said he quit and tonight we learned that he’s really going through with it. He’s celebrating his final weeks at DM by drinking scotch and Splenda (tastes like Splenda, gets drunk like scotch), annoying everyone and throwing his work away.
Michael is apparently oblivious to the dismal state of the job market right now and only begins to understand just how bad the situation is when a man from Philadelphia shows up to interview for his job. Yeah, it’s been a week since you quit Michael and you have four more days to find employment so you might want to start getting on that. A visit to Monsters.com isn’t going to help you either. Good thing Jim’s nearby to hear the roar from Michael’s computer and correct him on the spelling of the job-search website. Michael also attempts to find work at the Prince Family Paper Company only to learn they went out of business. Pat yourself on the back for that one, Michael.
Michael doesn’t spend long looking for a job and after eating some of Phyllis’ old pasta, he decides to start his own paper company. He knows everything about paper, including that the market’s on the decline. Michael practically invented decline and he’s prepared to sell paper in any climate. It’s been his dream to do this since lunch and damnit, he’s going to make it happen. The idea is so farfetched that when he sneaks around the office in an attempt to poach some of the DM staff for his new business, everyone turns him down. Of course, pitching a job to Stanley while he’s in the bathroom probably isn’t the best way to go about it.
When Charles finds some of Michael’s arts-and-crafts-style letterhead, he decides to move Michael’s last day up to today. Hank is brought in to escort Michael out and that he does. Michael doesn’t even get the chance to give his last grand speech and is forced to do it from the parking lot, though no one watching from the windows can hear him. He sneaks back in shortly after his departure to steal something from the files and make a last ditch-effort to get someone to come with him. His Jerry McGuire-moment takes place with him crouched down near Charles’ office, desperately but quietly begging the staff to consider whether they’ve given this job their best. We see Pam considering what he’s saying.
Charles spots Michael attempting to drag Phyllis away by her chair and comes out to put a stop to it. It actually looked like he was prepared to get physical with Michael and of course, Michael backs down, tossing the papers he was trying to steal on the floor and leaving on his own. Pam gets up and though she can’t seem to believe what she’s doing, announces that she’s going with Michael. Jim chases her out. He has no intention of joining Michael’s new business but he does want to make sure his fiancé knows what she’s getting herself into.
Here’s the thing. Pam spent most of the day trying to set up the new copier. We all know our girl is better than that. She’s got a lot more to offer and maybe Michael’s little start-up business really is the opportunity she’s been waiting for. Lord knows, Michael needs a solid number two at his side and if he can’t have Jim, well Pam’s gotta be the next best thing. Sure, she has no sales experience and we all saw that presentation she tried to give at the branch in New Hampshire a few episodes ago but she’s a competent woman who gets it done when she’s determined enough.
So Michael’s gone and so is Pam. Charles assigns Kevin (of all people) to the phones. Anyone from accounting working at reception is sure to be a disaster. Oscar’s sass and Angela’s attitude would probably be even worse than Kevin’s inability to operate a phone. Charles gives Stanley the task of being “Productivity Czar.” Again, this goes to show how little Charles knows of these people. Stanley’s a man who just wants to do his own work and go home. Dwight or Angela would probably be a better (albeit intolerable) fit for that role.
What else did we learn tonight on The Office?
Charles knows the effect he has on women.
Toby thinks Michael’s like a movie you watch on a plane: “It’s not great but it’s something to watch. And then when it’s over you’re like, ‘how much time is left on this flight… now what?’”
Dwight’s German is preindustrial and mostly religious.
And the next new episode of The Office isn’t for another two weeks. But from the previews, it looks like Ryan's coming back and he's working at a bowling alley (did I see that right?). Maybe he'll be willing to work for Michael.
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