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Last week on RHNJ we got to learn a little bit more about the strange frenemy relationship between Dina and Danielle and the previews for this week led us to believe we'd finally learn who these mysterious rumors are about and what they are about. Though we do get a taste of some dirt there still seems to be a lot to uncover and I have a feeling Bravo is going to keep us hanging for a while. But here's one dream that I can crush for you early in, Gia did NOT get the lead role in the movie starring along side THE ROCK DUANE JOHNSON! Noooooooo!
Teresa and Gia are going into NYC to meet with a modeling agency called Willamina. Since Gia didn't get the part in the movie with The Rock (surprise, surprise) Teresa decides to ditch her NJ manager and go with the best instead. It's VERY important that this meeting goes perfectly in order for Teresa to continue ruining her 7-year-old's life, and after seeing Gia's head shots, Willamina is not impressed. She thinks her photos make Gia look like she's in pageants-- or really what she means is she looks like a child whore--so from now on no more makeup as a 7-year-old should be. They go to get new pictures taken, minus the makeup, but don't worry they don't forget the slutty clothing, i.e. the pink fur coat, leggings, cheetah print, and daisy duke shorts. She gets the new pictures and at first Willamina is still not impressed, but then she finds a few that might work. Willamina is SUCH an intimidating biatch, but Teresa is willing to take it because she's determined to live vicariously through her daughter.
Dina is going out with her brother, a celebrity Chef brother named Jaimie. Jaimie seems to be Dina's Gay Husband--ala Jill Zarin and Brad. I didn't think they allowed Gay brothers in mob families but hey, this is 2009, good for you Mafia families! Jaimie is in town cooking for a certain celebrity musician for a few weeks (we're not allowed to know who but we know it's someone BIG) so he wants Dina to help him with decorating the rehearsal space. They take a trip to a place called Props for Today in NYC to pick out decor. Jaimie is just as hyper as Gay Husband Brad but is a TAD scarier as he's covered in tattoos and has the same icy cold glare that Dina has.
Dina is feeling frustrated these days because she's overworked with her celebrity interior design business (how did everyone get to work for celebrities? And who are these celebrities? Are we talking Oprah big or are we talking Kathy Griffin big? But now she's realizing that maybe she doesn't want to work so much because it's hard. Aww POOR Dina. You're rich and you don't have to work but you do because you have a dream job but now it's not good enough anymore. POOR you! Dina, how about you try sitting in front of a computer screen for 8 hours a day counting the minutes until you can go home and make box macaroni and cheese at 8:30pm followed by hours of reality TV focusing on spoiled women with nothing better to do then whine about their spoiled lives on TV in hopes of becoming famous and reliving their days of partying until the break of dawn on daddy's dime... did I say that out loud? Dina how about we trade lives until your husband comes home, hmm? I'll get paid to go shopping and YOU make up marketing lingo to impress my bosses for me. Sound good? Why don't we circle back on that, kthx.
Jacqueline's daughter failed school because she's dumb? Or spoiled? Or both? So basically she now has to go to summer school. Her punishment is that she's not allowed to have a car but woops, never mind; she started to cry so daddy bought her a car to build up her self-esteem. Jacqueline goes to seek advice from the Queen of Hearts, Caroline, hoping that she might yell at her brother--Jacqueline's husband Chris--for buying the car. But Caroline refuses to get involved with her brother because "it's his big heart that bought the car and he couldn't help it." But it's fine for Caroline to yell at Jacqueline for what Chris has done, which makes perfect sense. Now I see why everyone listens to this broad.
Commercial break--there is ANOTHER Real Housewives of NYC reunion special--The Lost Footage. They are REALLY milking this one.
Back to NJ, Danielle is taking her kids rock climbing for exercise but not with real rocks, with fake ones. She thinks because she works out so much she's able to keep her young physique and that's how she landed a 26-year-old guy who looks 50. Her daughter, Christina, thinks Steve, the 26-year-old BF, is a major creepster. This young lady is very wise, but Danielle refuses to listen to her genius daughter and insists that they are in love. Danielle decides to throw an elaborate spa party for the ladies where they get Botox done for free.
I thought she was actually poor because her ex-husband wouldn't give up the cash? How can she afford to pay for Botox for all of these women? Danielle gets her lips plumped up in front of everyone and it's DISGUSTING! Teresa decides to get some Botox in her crow’s feet, Dina doesn't want any so she just makes fun of everyone else that gets it (mainly Danielle) even though she secretly gets it on the side, and Caroline just thinks everyone's insane. Dina quietly makes fun of Danielle as she wriggles around numbly, face filled with plastic, like a dying fish in the Botox chair. Danielle gets wind of the jabs and she is NOT happy. I mean maybe it was rude to pick on her since she IS throwing the party and all, but come on she was asking for it. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. So now, after Danielle stalked and worked so hard to befriend Dina she's now hating on her again. She doesn't want her to go to her birthday celebration, which I doubt will be a problem, and she thinks Dina is rude to her because she is threatened by the fact that Danielle knows "way... too... much... about her." Like what, that she lies about getting her lips done? Anyone who's seen her face knows that already Danielle.
Danielle sets up a triple date for her birthday dinner, including creepy boyfriend Steve. She is not happy with Steve these days, he hasn't been answering his phone and she doesn't get why he wouldn't want to hang with her when she has the, and I quote, "p**sy." I mean how could he pass that up? Danielle wanted to break up with him at the dinner table because she wanted to start drama but unfortunately Jacqueline and Teresa talked her out of it.
The next day Danielle decides she needs more attention so she crashes Jacqueline and Teresa's play date to talk about how she wants to dump Steve, even though they're so in love. Teresa gently calls Danielle out on her BS because she knows the real story here. Apparently all Teresa's heard from Steve is that he doesn't care about Danielle one way or another, he just shows up for his daily BJ and then goes on his merry way. Jacqueline and Teresa try to give Danielle some solid advice that she doesn't want to hear so she leaves. The other ladies think that Danielle is only out to find a man who has money but there are also some rumors going around about Danielle. Rumors like she is a husband stealer and a stripper. She did say she was a "professional dancer" sooooo, yes she's a stripper.
Caroline and Dina are laying on the pressure for Jacqueline to get rid of Danielle. Caroline does NOT like the rumors she's hearing and she wants to investigate the situation. It doesn't look like Danielle is going to be alive for much longer if Caroline gets a hold of her! Wouldn't it be fun if this turned into a "Who Done It" murder mystery type show?
Next Week: Rumors about Danielle get out of hand and she needs to be confronted. Apparently her mug shot is featured in a mysterious book called Cops Without Badges--the synopsis reads, "Former FBI and Secret Service agent Kevin Maher describes the intervention that prevented him from following a life of crime and recounts his dangerous career in which he solved homicides, targeted the mafia, and fought in the drug war." A COLOMBIAN drug war! FINALLY we get to the Colombian Cartels, YES! It also says this man had a serious cocaine habit which wrecked his first two marriages, but now he works for a security firm in NEW JERSEY. Was this man married to Danielle? We shall soon see, PLEASEEEE GOD LET IT BE TRUE!