The world of television is ever changing. Mostly having to do with reality stars and their “will they, won’t they” contract signing drama. But there’s a lot going on each week in TV, and not all of it’s good. We’ve decided that you, dear reader, deserve to have the most interesting of tales told laid out for you in a neat organized list form. Welcome to This Week In Television, where you see what’s worth your time over the past seven days.

A singing former childhood doctor will return to high school to sing and dance. Spartacus battles serious health issues. Guy Fieri is even more obnoxious on network television. American Idol sucks, but gets a little guy love from Blend Television. All of this happened, and more, in the past week. Now you know, and are a better person for it.

Glen-wait for it-gendary
Genre programming, the new network subgenre.

Apparently Mondays are Glee day here at Blend Television, as we have yet another story on the singing and dancing show. But rather than dip into your wallets for a credit card, now we want to dip into your hearts for a touch of awesome. Neil Patrick Harris, yes the NPH who has wowed audiences with his chops in Doogie Howser, MD and Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle will be stopping by to lend his pipes. Despite so many of my favorite genre shows getting the axe in recent years, it would seem that many are finding an audience. This leads me to believe there’s a personal vendetta against me and my viewing habits.

Spartacus battling for his life
Queen of the Geeks putting on the iconic red hood .

Andy Whitfield, who plays the titular character on Spartacus: Blood and Sand has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. We hope that he successfully goes through treatment and is able to return to a normal life as soon as possible. Any news of Felicia Day appearing on my television screen makes for a brighter life. Day is possibly the cutest actress currently bubbling her way into the mainstream consciousness. The Whedon alumnus will be appearing in the SyFy channel’s version of Red Riding Hood. My what a high level you have, my dear.

American Idol is still around

It’s official, this is the worst season of Idol ever. Add to that our resident Idol interloper, Doug Norrie, apparently has some sort of crush on Casey. Not in a gay, hey wanna cross swords kind of way. More in a gentle, hey let me swoon to the sound of your voice kind of way. It’s that, or this season is so bad that the generic backup singer for any failing local band is actually the standout male.

Heigl still hot, but no one really cares

Did you hear that Katherine Heigl will not be coming back to Grey’s Anatomy? I remember back when she was on Roswell and appeared on the cover of Maxim magazine. The time it took me to look through that issue was the exact amount of time I cared about Katherine Heigl. And I’m sure the feeling’s mutual. Look, Grey’s Anatomy has become a primetime soap opera joke. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can do what I do when I hear news on the show: update my Facebook status with pics of cute kittens in dastardly situations.

When in Rome, make a movie
Brett Michaels talks dirty with us

It’s looking good for HBO’s short lived series, Rome, to enthrall audiences at least one more time. The scuttlebutt is that a possible feature film is in the works, and that the series creator has penned a script. This all sounds great, but it does bring up the real question we need answered. Where the fuck is our Deadwood movie? Katey talked with Brett Michaels, former Poison front man. She somehow resisted the urge to caress the bandana, probably owing to the lack of Purell in her purse.

Minute to stop watching it

Guy Fieri does his best to be a good host. He goes the enthusiastic route, and I’m fine with it. I still want to punch him in the back of the head when he puts his sunglasses on backwards. It’s like he’s taunting me. NBC’s newest gameshow is actually rewarding people for playing drunk college games. You’ll know the show has jumped the shark when it delves into the high school games like suck and blow. Oh we children were devilish with our double entendres.

Conan O’Brien telling jokes while counting his money

When Jay Leno took back over The Tonight Show I continued to not watch. Not in solidarity with CoCo, but because that’s the time I normally spend reorganizing my beanie babies. This is a far funnier activity than a Leno joke. But if you want actual hilarity you can catch the television barred Conan on one of his tour dates.

That’s it for This Week In Television, March 8th through the 14th. Come back next Monday to catch up on all of the tasty bits we hid under our napkins because we know that Peeps are better when stale.

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