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With the two hour season finale of 24 set to premiere Monday night, we sat down to offer our theories on some of the pressing questions on everyone’s mind. (Or at least our minds because all we seem to think about is Jack Bauer and Co.)
Will CTU reform after this season? (read reform anyway you want to) And will Agent Renee Walker be named new head of CTU?
Norrie: They have been setting this up all season with the constant references to the old agency, putting the CTU mainframes and files back into play, making Chloe looks like a genius compared to her FBI counterpart. If anything, this season has made the FBI look like a bunch of whiny, bumbling idiots. Agent Moss (deceased) led the incompetent charge against the terrorists and I have been pining for some dimly lit, basement-like office for Jack and company to operate from. I even miss the CTU phone ring. I say it comes back after this episode with Agent Walked named its head.
Pacchione: See, I think they’re trying to distance themselves from CTU as much as possible. Too many betrayals, too many bad memories, too many 24 fans like myself making fun of the mortality rate.
Also if Renee were actually promoted to head of CTU…I mean how is she qualified for that position? Oh, what’s that you say? Being promoted on 24 has nothing to do with skill, only with remaining alive? Good point.
Will Jack die? (Odds 1,000,000:1)
Norrie: It’s worth the bet I suppose. And if these odd s were actually offered out on the open market, I suspect Kiefer Sutherland would instantly be the most hunted man in America. He would need a Jack Bauer-like guy to protect him. (Or at the very least Curtis).
Pacchione: I’ve said before where the show would improve dramatically if they were to kill off Jack and turn season 8 into a prequel. I can’t imagine that would actually happen. Then again, I never thought they’d use Janeane Garofalo for an entire season.
Will Kim uses the phrase “Why are you doing this?” during the final episode?
Norrie: Obviously. I have secretly (and now openly) wondered if Elisha Cuthbert worked out some deal in her contract allowing her to write her own lines. What else could explain the inanity she spews forth every time she speaks? Where no one in the world has even been more prepared to handle pressure as Jack, no one has ever been so ill-equipped to process information in real time than Kim Bauer. She just looks confused at every single thing that has ever happened to her.
Pacchione: Not only am I going to guarantee a “why are you doing this?” but I’ll also predict the color van she’s stuffed into while yelling it: black. I’ve noticed all the bad guy cars this year being dark in color. Why change now?
By the way, seeing as how Kim appears to be about 4’12” in real life shouldn’t Tony and co. run a misdirection and stuff Kim in the back of some compact Audi rather than the same black van every group of villains uses? She’d fit easily and they’d be a lot harder to track down. Just saying.
Will President Taylor be impeached?
Pacchione: If you could be impeached on the grounds of “always asking questions, never having any answers,” she’d have been gone months ago…
Norrie: Hillary Clinton must sit at home in reproach of President Taylor. Speaking strictly tongue in cheek if David Palmer paved the way for Barack Obama, President Taylor is laying down speed spikes and oil slicks for Hillary Clinton. God what a mess of a President she has been this season. She allowed an attack on the White House, allowed her daughter to politically poison the office, couldn’t figure out her son was murdered, openly cried, and this is just to name a few.
What was the most glaring hole in the plot this year?
Pacchione: Wow. Always a tough one to answer. I’m going to overlook the obvious choice (how apparently easy it is to break into the White House) and instead go alllllllllllllll the way back to Henry Taylor’s improbable killing of special Agent Gedge, then dramatic and still unexplained recovery from the deadly poison he’d ingested. As far as “miraculous 24 survivals” go, I’d rank this just behind Michelle Dessler’s apparent immunity to the biological weapon in season 4?
Norrie: Terrorists allow Jack and Bill to chat strategy while being held hostage in White House. These are terrorists who had the foresight to tunnel under the White House, disarm the Secret Service, take the President hostage, hold off the entire US Armed Services from starting a rescue operation, and then inexplicably allow the two government super agents to chat it up in order to plot an escape.
How does Tony die?
Pacchione: I don’t think they’ll have Jack do the deed. Throughout this year, they’ve been steadily planting the “Jack, you can’t do this by yourself” theme. I say Renee shoots him; in doing so, she finally answers the season-long “do the ends justify the means?” debate for herself. Finally.
I could also see a forced “Kim kills Tony” plot down our throats, in which case I will spend the remainder of my life hunting down the writers of this show, simply to ask them why.
Norrie: You can’t kill Tony. You can only hope to contain him!
Will Kim’s kidnapper challenges her to a race, a la his Duncan character from Seinfeld?
Norrie: It drove me crazy not knowing where I knew that guy from, until Mike reminded me. There should be a “that guy” website or cross-referencing database (don’t tell me IMDB, I want something specifically devoted to “that guy.”) One great thing about his role as Kim’s kidnapper is that I almost have to give Kim a pass for trusting him because he is about as gooberish and unassuming as they come. He looks like an English professor or photographer, not a cold-blooded killer.
Pacchione: It’s worth noting that I tried to cheat and look him up on IMDB but he wasn’t even in the credits for last week’s episode. Doug is right. Someone buy www.thatguy.com and make it happen.
Speaking of which…
What was the best That Guy appearance this season?
Pacchione: I’m going to go with That Guy from The Rock, if only because he also brought the plot from The Rock with him. Then again, if you can break into a fictional prison using SCUBA gear, shouldn’t that also work on a fictional White House?
Norrie: I have to go with Coach Yoast from Remember the Titans. I am still waiting for him to call on Hayden Panettiere to stomp around screaming about “bad calls” and just generally be annoying.
Is the Jacob really the brains behind the whole plot?
Norrie: This would be the show and network crossover of the century. No one is willing to take risks like this in television anymore. Why do you think comic books have hung around for so long? Everyone eventually fights everyone.
Pacchione: I'm a season behind on Lost so I can't completely comment. I will echo what Doug said about crossover appearances. A few weeks ago I was watching Hanging With Mr. Cooper at the gym (I know, I know but the TV was stuck on that channel) and wouldn't you know it was a crossover episode where Mr. Cooper had to babysit for Michelle because Uncle Jesse had to run errands. If it can work for Full House, it can definitely work for 24. Maybe Locke can teach Kim Bauer a thing or two about survival skills.
So what happens in the season finale?
Pacchione: Well if I were in charge, it would involve Kim dying. I know I’m predisposed to answer like that but imagine the possibilities for next year. Season eight could be dubbed “Jack’s Revenge.” Find me someone who wouldn’t watch that.
I’m sure there will also be some resolution with the Taylors; I’m doubly sure I won’t care what it is.
Norrie: This is tough. My best guess here is that Kim dies while transfusing blood to Jack to cure him of the virus. I also think there is some kind of implication that Renee and Jack end up together although their relationship is strained at best, really, really weird at worst. They definitely do not get to the bottom of the super group running everything behind the scenes and that will set up next year in the Big Apple.
The 24 season finale airs on Monday at 8:00 p.m. on Fox. For clips from the episode, click here!.
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