Celebrity Apprentice Power Rankings: Week 9
Apparently, that new rational behind firings I bitched about last week is here to stay. For the second consecutive episode, The Donald fired, not the worst player on the challenge, but the worst player overall. If that’s where Celebrity Apprentice is headed, I’m fine with it. Just be consistent, that’s all I ask. Operate from a place of logic, not impulse.
It’s hard to expect Trump to maintain that even-handed composure though when his contestants are screaming at each other like Real Housewives. No stranger to confrontation, Nene got things started with a scathing and vicious five plus minute diatribe directed toward Star that ended in her yelling, “Bring your street game.” I have no idea what that means, but I’m pretty sure Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes had it when she burned down Andre Rison’s house and Hope lacked it when she was asked to defend herself in the boardroom. She barely mustered a whimper and was sent to the exit limo where she promptly gloated about how cool it was to be fired by Trump. Some people just don’t have the personality for the business world.
With LaToya bizarrely back in the running, the Celebrity Apprentice Power Rankings didn’t lose any man power for the first time this season, but since she was technically eliminated, LaToya automatically starts at the bottom of the heap. She’ll be eligible to move up with a good showing next episode. As always, this week’s rankings are an averaging of ordered lists compiled by Cinema Blend writers Mack Rawden and Jessica Grabert. 16 points were awarded for a first place vote, and this week, 10 were given for a last place vote (automatically LaToya). 9 contestants have been eliminated; therefore, they automatically occupy the bottom slots. Here’s a look at how this week shook down…
#1) John Rich (32): Apparently, John Rich is a hair man. While Lil John took the helm on this week’s hair show task, it was John Rick who supplied much of the brain. Rich was the man who decided to get fired women’s player Niki Taylor to model for the men’s team. It was also Rich who smoothed out the wrinkles in the men’s thematic idea. His effort level certainly contributed to the men’s success this week; but with LaToya back to bog them down, next week John might have his diplomatic hands full. It’s hard to see him fucking up, unless he goes home as taskmaster. In that case, it certainly won’t be the way of Mark McGrath.
#2) Star Jones (29): There’s certainly no argument concerning Star Jones’ effort level. Week after week, we’ve seen Star work hard, doing all of the women’s graphic work, and capably arguing all the ins and outs of boardroom drama. However, Star’s feud with Nene has risen like mercury on a sick person’s thermometer. The drama may be simmering on the sidelines as the two wait to compete again, but Star will have to tread carefully when the catfight rears its sharpened claws. Luckily for the former talk show host, her other nemesis has returned to play for the men. With only Nene to defeat in the foreseeable future, all bets are on. I’d put my money on Star any day.
#3) Marlee Matlin (28): With Star and Nene having already competed twice, Marlee’s turn at project manager will likely come next week for the first time since she laid waste during the fundraising challenge. It’s unlikely she’ll get another task that plays so well to her strengths, but with Star and Nene going at it like two hobos on the same sloppy joe, her positioning as head woman should actually help the flounding team. They may not take orders well from each other, but it’s likely they’ll follow Marlee’s direction if they shut up long enough to hear her translator out.
#4) Lil Jon (27): I’m not sure anyone in the history of Celebrity Apprentice has ever been able to work a room like the rap star. With almost no rehearsal and subject matter he was completely unfamiliar with, Lil Jon grabbed the microphone and commanded the audience and the executives to their feet. His relaxed demeanor and aggressively creative thinking have meshed perfectly with John Rich’s competence and Meatloaf’s shotgun brainstorming. Unfortunately, not every remaining challenge is likely to have a stage element. His lack of planning might come back to bite him in the ass in a formal sitdown with executives, but until then, open up your throat and give him your best “YEAH”. He’s earned it.
#5) Nene Leakes (23): I absolutely understand how the emotional Nene would hate the stone-faced Star. The two are on two separate planes, no, in two separate galaxies, as far as behavior is concerned. Someone needs to challenge Star if the women have any hope of beating her, and the vociferous Nene is probably their best shot. Should this excuse Nene’s horrendously inappropriate, intimidating behavior? No. Does she need to learn to be a professional? Hell yes. Does she have a chance at defeating star? There’s more hope in the cards than you’d think.
#5) Meatloaf (23): If previews are any indication, we’re about to see Meatloaf wreck his chances of winning through another emotional outburst. In weeks past, Meatloaf has proven he runs the gamut between extraordinary creativity and illogical emotion. Creativity has kept him in the forefront thus far and defeating Gary Busey has shown a marked improvement in Meatloaf. But with bathroom jokes taking precedence over hard work, Meatloaf is already showing a weak spot. One emotional misstep and the men will absolutely, though tactfully, hand Meatloaf over to Trump.
#7) LaToya Jackson (20): Look: I applaud LaToya for grabbing the hot pants out of the closet, walking into Trump’s office and demanding a second shot. I spoke at length last week about why I thought her firing was bullshit, but the fact of the matter is she’s still the weakest player remaining. She may have won her round as project manager, but it’s easy to claim victory when the other side is getting swallowed by Hurricane Busey. She needs to contribute creatively. She needs to be a force and not just a bit player. With her paranoia about the women intentionally eliminating her now gone, she should have every opportunity to contribute alongside the big boys this week. Let’s hope her new found assertiveness shines through.
Here’s a look at how each of the two ballots shook out:
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