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Choke! And Gleeks, it wasn’t the Gym Class Heroes Cupid Chokehold kind. In last night’s episode, Rachel chokes during her NYADA audition, Puck chokes during his exam, and we can assume that Cooter has choked Coach Beiste. Let’s recap shall we?
Fist Pumping: Domestic Violence Style
Glee took on the sensitive subject of domestic violence last night by by starting off with the girls making fun of Coach Beiste’s shiner. “Black Sue” (what Sue is “fondly” calling Roz) did not take the comments lightly. She chastises the girls for their insensitive comments and calls a meeting with Will a.k.a. “What’s his face” and “Old Sue.” (I found it odd they didn't consult counselor Emma for this one.) Sue summons the girls and tells them since the only way to get a message into their doughy heads is through song, that this week's assignment is to take a song about abuse and transform it into female empowerment.
Coach Beiste is a Victim
While the girls sing “Cell Block Tango” (the crazy song about killing men because they chew gum) we see flashes of what really caused Coach Beiste’s black eye: Cooter! Cooter has a temper and gets pissed when the dishes aren’t done in time. (Imagine his reaction if you failed to use Dawn soap.) Poor Beiste eventually confesses to Sue and Roz that Cooter hit her. Roz states the obvious: “Why didn’t you kick his ass?” (I agree.) Beiste cries that she can’t leave Cooter because she doesn’t think anyone else will ever love her. Sue is like bullshit you’re staying with me, and I’ll even make a tent into clothes for you. (Aww Omar the Tentmaker would be proud of Sue.)
All week Rachel and Kurt were a bundle of nerves over their NYADA auditions. For their songs, Kurt originally leans toward a Phantom of the Opera number with lots of candles, but in his heart, he really wants to sing “Not the Boy Next Door.” Prior to the auditions, Rachel advises Kurt to stay with the safe Phantom number until Whoopi Goldberg appears out of thin air like “Ghost.” Oh snap! The NYADA judge is uber critical, and at first has Kurt shaking in his glitter loafers. But then Kurt decides to go for it and gives an amazing performance of “Not the Boy Next Door.” Whoopi loves it and tells Kurt even Hugh Jackman would be proud. Kurt giddily skips off stage in a cloud of pure Broadway elation.
Then it’s Rachel’s turn, and as I suspected, Rachel playing it safe was going to bite her in her berry. Rachel chokes not once, but twice while singing her favorite Barbra song. Whoopi cuts her off during her third try. Rachel should know this ain’t no Sister Act 3, you only get two acts. Rachel is devastated, but fortunately for her she is wearing water proof mascara.
Puck Also Chokes
Also choking in this week’s episode is Puck. First he chokes and gives his dad, who shows up after being M.I.A. for five years, $500. Puck reveals his dad is a deadbeat loser who dropped out of high school. Then despite his bros' best efforts of teaching him through song, Puck still fails his test. Looks like Puckerman will be repeating senior year unless a miracle happens.
Shake It Out
Proud of Coach Beiste for leaving Cooter, the girls treat her with a haunting rendition of “Shake It Out.” Uh oh. Then a flashback occurs (never good), and we see Beiste lied about moving in with her sister. She went back to Cooter and gave him a second chance. And now it’s time for my PSA.
In a relationship, if he (or she) hits you once, it will happen again. Domestic violence thrives because the victim thinks it was a one time only deal. It’s also important to emphasize no matter what gender or size you are, you can be a victim. And although domestic violence is more commonly a man hitting a woman (as in Coach Beiste’s case), there are plenty of women out there who hit men. Women are abusers too and should be held just as accountable. In fact, I know of a woman who scratches, hits and punches her boyfriend. Recently she punched him so hard she busted his lip open and knocked his tooth loose. Why he stays with her, God only knows. He deserves so much better than that psycho. End of PSA.
Blaine’s hair gel tips was hilarious. I also enjoy Finn timing Rachel’s practice expressions for her NYADA audition.
Rachel to Kurt: “I vowed not to speak with you unless William and Kate got pregnant, Liza passed, or unless one of us was in grave danger.”
Sue to Roz: “I spent the weekend sending your photo to ivory poachers who could make an absolute fortune selling your enormous white teeth on the black market.”
Artie: “Moving on, what rhymes with Pre-industrial European deforestation?”
“Cell Block Tango”
“Not the Boy Next Door”
“The Rain in Spain"
“Shake It Out”
Gleeks, next week it’s prom! And Brittany decides as class president to have a dinosaur theme. I already see visions of Pebbles and Bam Bam costumes. See you next week!
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