My god, I cannot tell you how sick I am of two-hour premiers. I'm starting to think that it may have been some kind of sick hazing plot by Kelly West and the crew to trick me into picking a set of shows to recap that all have two hour premiers. That's some Machiavellian shit right there, West!

Anyway, this was the last of my premiers and it was definitely the best. Hopefully I can do it some justice.

The show opens with the traditional Meredith V.O that went something like "Blah blah the problem with fairy tales is they don't come true, life is a Stephen King story, woe is me, there is no happily every after, whine whine whine" which leads into a scene of Derek dying under the knife. If you didn't realize that was a dream sequence from the beginning, you're a fool.

Everybody's angst-ridden romantic plotlines were actually pretty minor, though, so I'll go ahead and knock those out first so we have them out of the way.

Meredith spends most of the episode second guessing everything about her relationship with Derek because that's just how she do. She spends so much time talking Cristina's ear off about whether or not she should have Derek move in that Yang finally snaps and tells her that they'll just break up like they always do and that Meredith and Derek just were not meant to be. Meredith then spends the rest of the episode whining and agonizing over whether or not Yang really meant it. I am so sick of this plotline that I can't even put words to it. I am simultaneously bored and annoyed by the constant back and forth between these two.

By the way, if you've been avoiding spoilers, Rose is not carrying Derek's child. The previews took a sarcastic comment made by Rose and showed it out of context. My fiance will be happy to not have to hear me scream "But you're not, you lying whore!" every time that preview comes on. Rose does stab Derek in the hand by the end of the episode, though, and putting that into context doesn't really make it any better.

Yang meets up with a gung-ho army trauma surgeon who trach'ed a guy on the side of the road with a ballpoint pen (Hot!) that I hereby dub "McBadAss" that she flirts with over self-administered staples without anesthetic and frozen accident victims before he kisses her and walks off into the sunset. I think he'll be back, though.

Lexie spends most of the episode sticking up for George to McSteamy and being pestered by the aforementioned McSteamy to admit her feelings to George, but wusses out and lets George keep believing that she just sees their relationship as platonic. How sad is it that the only man I've ever seen that is more clueless than me is a fictional character?

Torres and Hahn spend most of the episode being awkward around each other before admitting to each other that they've never been interested in a woman before and walking off to make out some more in the last five minutes of the episode.

Izzie and Alex spend most of the episode flirting and making googly eyes at each-other until Meredith mentions that to Alex that Izzy said he was a good man and his setting reverts back to "asshole" and he treats Izzy like shit for the rest of the night. In the saddest, most nearly (I said NEARLY!) tear-rending part of the night, Izzy sees Alex making out with a girl he brought home and daydreams about seeing Denny again and my eyes may have leaked a little.

In the main plotline of the night, the doctors find out that they've dropped from being one of the top-ranked teaching hospitals in the nation, and a level one trauma center, to being ranked as the number twelve ranked teaching hospital and a level two trauma center and everyone spends the rest of the show freaking out.

The chief insists that every patient that comes in is saved, Bailey is willing to spend the night in the ambulance bay hoping that someone has such life threatening injuries that they're brought to Seattle Grace instead of the level one trauma center because Seattle Grace is closer, and Hahn spends the night pestering everyone about their teaching technique so that she can improve her own.

The only patients tonight were a limo full of three women and their driver who were in a car accident and their husbands (in a separate accident) who, after being coerced by Bailey, they insist be sent to Seattle Grace. The women are all okay, except for one who received such serious head injuries that her memory resets every thirty seconds, but their limo driver dies and their husbands are very seriously injured. In fact, one received the ballpoint pen trach from McBadass.

Throughout the night, it comes out that one of the husbands lost his job months ago and, instead of telling his wife, told her best friend and had an affair with her. Predictably, Meredith sees this as a sign that maybe she shouldn't be with Derek, because she's a moron.

The woman with the resetting memory can't be cured, and her husband dies, but that almost seems beside the point, other than a reason for the chief to throw a fit and put everyone on notice the next day that he'll be overhauling the program and everything will be changing.

In all, I thought it was a very good episode. I didn't see all of last season, but I liked what I saw, and I didn't see any of the season before that (Season 3?), but I liked season two and I like what I've seen of this season, too. I just wish Meredith and Derek would make up their damn minds.

And I want more of McBadAss, too!

And I wouldn't mind seeing George and Lexie together.

And maybe have Denny come back from the dead? Please? I miss Denny; he was sweetness and light and warmth and teddy bear hugs!

And if Shonda Rhimes doesn't give me these things, that means that she doesn't care about her fans or her characters and her show is doomed!

Yes, I'm making fun of you rabid "Gizzie" fans. They were a horrible, awkward couple. Get over it!



...and I'm spent.

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