About halfway through this week’s episode of ‘Rescue Me’ I started to think “Hmm, I guess this is one of those maintenance episodes where they build on the existing plots but nothing major really happens. Yeah, I should’ve reserved judgment until the end of the episode because boy was I wrong! The episode ends with two of the main characters down and dying but we’ll get to that in a bit.
To recap the plot developments that lead up to, the nightmarish climax of the episode lets start with Franco because that was fairly simple. After Franco’s girlfriend dumps him when special-Richie gets lost in Harlem, Franco becomes wise to Richie’s game. He calls it “submarining”. That’s when someone tries to get in the way of a guy and his girl. He’s worked up about the whole thing and venting to the guys when Garrity (in a moment of very un-Garrity-like wisdom) suggests that perhaps Richie is just afraid that if his sister has a man that she wont have time for him. Franco resolves the issue by taking Richie to lunch and calling him out on his game. He then asks Richie for his permission to date his sister. Richie is pleased by this and agrees.
The honeymoon is over for Uncle Teddy though. One of the guards tells Teddy he needs to get a job because things are too good for him and it just looks bad (getting regular sex and being a hero and all that). Teddy’s bummed about this and then when he goes in for his routine conjugal visit, his bride is grumpy that he never asks her about her day. It looks like Teddy’s perfect situation is unraveling pretty quickly.
Lou ends up dating a “semi-nun” named Theresa. Theresa is in the process of leaving the order and while Lou is very zen about the whole thing, Tommy is totally freaked out about it. We get a good chuckle when Tommy tells Lou he shouldn’t be having an affair with a woman whose still technically married to Jesus. Lou claims he could take Jesus on in a fight.
Garrity convinces Maggie to have a church wedding but when they meet with the priest, she makes a whole mess of the interview and they end up getting blacklisted from every church in the diocese. Maggie tries to make amends with some avocados but Garrity’s had enough and he finally dumps her. Will it stick this time? Yeah, I don’t think it will either.
Johnny and Janet talk about baby names and Johnny keeps suggesting names of football players. He’s insisting on Nameth Gavin but Janet likes Gabriel and insists that Johnny come up with a new list.
Tommy’s dad nearly burns the kitchen down and when Tommy suggests putting him in a home, his dad gets really upset. He leaves a suicide note and takes off. Tommy finds him at the cemetery and his dad tells Tommy that he’s disappointed in how Tommy’s life is and if he keeps going the way he’s going, he’s going to end up sitting drunk in a cemetery crying like his father.
After Lou complains about having to help his Uncle out of the bathtub one morning, he comes up with the idea of having his uncle and Tommy’s dad live together. Since both are agreeable to the idea, Tommy goes along with it.
Sheila shows Tommy some pictures of potential retirement homes for them and Tommy ends up liking the same one that she and Jimmy both liked. Sheila goes to the realty place and buys the house without even seeing it in person (or consulting with Tommy about it).
Jerry tells Tommy about Carleen and how he’s nervous about performing. They had a date and one thing was about to lead to the next when he told her he wasn’t ready but apparently now he’s ready. Tommy asks Sheila if she can score some viagra for Jerry. The next time we see Jerry he’s in bed enjoying himself with his girlfriend Carleen. When they’re finished, he has chest pains. Carleen tells him he’s fine but Jerry tells her to call 911. As she’s franticly putting her clothes back on she says she cant because she’ll get in trouble (illegal alien and all that) and she leaves as Jerry is struggling to get out of bed. He collapses face down on the floor. Umm, Carleen – couldn’t you call 911 and then wait with him until they show up then leave once you hear the sirens? Real nice, lady.
The episode ends with Johnny and another cop on a stake-out discussing Madonna and Cher’s concert wardrobe changes. Johnny gets out of the car during this discussion and in the middle of a conversation about buttless chaps, there are gunshots. Johnny takes at least three bullets in the back and right through his chest. His partner calls in the officer-down and that’s the end of the episode.
So we have two main characters dying. As much as I disapprove of Johnny these days, the idea of him dying is just too heartbreaking to even think. Seeing him bleeding out on the pavement makes me wonder if he’s going to pull through this. As for Jerry, the guy’s just had a rough year and normally I’d say that there are worse ways to go than by a heart attack after bedding a beautiful woman but seeing her run out on him like that just makes me think he deserves a lot better. With two more episodes left*, its safe to say that this season of ‘Rescue Me’ is shaping up to end with an explosion.
*The previews keep saying “two more episodes until the finale and one more episode until the finale” so I’m assuming that means there’s 2 more episodes left to the season.
