Looking for a way to fill your schedule on this coming April 1st? Why not invite some friends over for a viewing or 12 of one of the worst movies ever made? According to EW, the cable network Logo will air a 24-hour marathon of Showgirls beginning at 6 a.m. ET on Sunday, April 1st. That's 24 straight hours of pole-dancing, over-acting, swimming-pool-thrashing USDA-approved cheese, beamed straight into your living room. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
I imagine it's hard for our younger readers to understand the special place some of us hold in our hearts for Showgirls. Outside of the Razzies, Showgirls is not a movie that receives -- or deserves -- much praise, but it stands out as a distinct landmark in my memory because it was the first time I'd ever been aware of an NC-17 movie playing in my home town. That gave the movie an aura of mystique and danger that it in no way deserved. It also included Saved by the Bell's Elizabeth Berkley getting extremely naked and having sex, or possibly a seizure, in a swimming pool with Special Agent Dale Cooper. Keep in mind, this was before up-and-coming young actresses were legally required to have private pictures hacked off their cell phones and distributed via the internet. The idea that Jessie Spano was stripping off in a movie was almost as shocking as finding out that one of your classmates was going to appear in Playboy. Which actually did happen, now that I think about it.
While the Showgirls marathon is being positioned on a day known for pranks and levity, keep in mind that it's not something to take lightly. I recommend sitting through no more than two consecutive viewings. If you become nauseous, light-headed, or begin bleeding from the eyes, switch channels immediately and administer the last 10 minutes of The Shawshank Redemption as a counter-agent. Attempting to survive the entire marathon may result in suicidal thoughts or spontaneous human combustion. You have been warned.
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