New Year's Resolutions From Fox's Animated Families

Fox’s Sunday night animated lineup isn’t just about bringing the funny. The characters on the shows understand their flaws, and have now vowed to make changes to their behavior come January 1st 2009. The lead characters on The Simpsons, King of the Hill, Family Guy, and American Dad have laid out their New Year’s Resolutions.

Like real life Resolutions, those made by cartoon characters are made with good intent. See Stewie Griffin’s assertion that he’ll focus more on Abercrombie & Fitch window displays. And here I’d thought A&F was completely irrelevant since I stopped overpaying for mediocre quality clothes. Also I’m going to imagine that like in real life these are Resolutions that should last until the second week of January. The more dedicated could last until early February though.

In any case you can check out the list of Resolutions below.

THE SIMPSONS Sundays (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT)

Homer Simpson: In 2009, I will finally get around to voting for President.

Marge Simpson: I’ll try to be more assertive if it’s okay with everyone else.

Bart Simpson: I plan to raise a family of skunks in Principal Skinner’s car.

Lisa Simpson: I will make the world a colder, greener, jazzier place.

Grampa Simpson: Let’s just make this the best 1933 we can.

KING OF THE HILL Sundays (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT)

Hank Hill: On a bi-weekly basis, I am going to send President Obama my suggestions for public works projects involving propane. I truly hope and believe he will be the “Propane President.”

Peggy Hill: It won't be easy or pretty, but I am determined to go down two shoe sizes. And I am going to get a pair of mirrored prescription sunglasses and win the World Series of Poker.

Bobby Hill: I resolve that this year, once and for all, I’m going to lose my baby fat.

Luanne Platter: I resolve to know where my baby is at all times. And to make sure that place is never on top of the car.

FAMILY GUY Sundays (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT)

Peter Griffin: To use my intestinal gas in more creative and constructive ways.

Lois Griffin: To stop thinking about that yoga instructor at my gym.

Brian Griffin: Cut down on consumption of my own crotch.

Stewie Griffin: Spend more time admiring Abercrombie & Fitch window displays.

Meg Griffin: Teach myself how to shave my legs.

Chris Griffin: I know I’m young, but it’s never too early to start eating more fiber.

AMERICAN DAD Sundays (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT)

Stan Smith: To try and understand one Maya Angelou poem.

Francine Smith: To find out why jerk chicken is called jerk chicken. I hope it’s not why I think.

Hayley Smith: To date a guy who has at least part ownership in a car.

Steve Smith: I am hoping to reinstate Pluto as a planet with the ultimate goal of it getting me some action.

Roger Smith: To buy a Labrador Retriever, raise it, love it and stand naked in front of it to gauge its reaction.

Klaus Smith: I will touch Ricky Martin somewhere on his head or face.

Steve West

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.