|
||||||||||||||||||||
news:blended 5.26 - 6.1
 Over the last seven days we’ve brought you stories about John Wayne, Woody Allen, American Girl dolls, unplanned pregnancy, and finking on your fellow man for fun and (small) profit. It was one of those throw it against the wall and see if it sticks weeks. SATURDAY We didn’t have any new stories last Saturday, but I did get a chance to see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and Shrek the Third. Neither movie sucked but they don’t match up particularly well with the original in each series. I’m not breaking new critical ground with that statement, it’s pretty frickin’ obvious. I’m a pretty frickin’ obvious person, though, so I go with my strengths. I’m holding out hope that The Bourne Ultimatum will be the first threequel this summer to be better than just ok. SUNDAY Pirate movie takes home the booty….heh heh…the booty, get it? We salute John Wayne, seriously. The latest Pirates movie opened and landed in first place at the box office, surprising no one. The real issue was if it would be the biggest movie opening of all time, of all summer, or just of the last week. In the end it just did ok. Great for almost any other movie, but just ok for the latest blockbuster. John Wayne never broke $100 million in his opening weekend, but most of his movies were made when tickets were 8 cents a piece. That’s right, and you got a happy ending massage to go with that, sonny. On the 100th anniversary of his birth, we got a bit misty eyed for the Duke. MONDAY Suprisingly, studios don’t want money losing movies. Some studios do want money losing movies. For first time in recent memory, English woman will play English woman. Before Woody Allen became a pervert he was a pretty good filmmaker. The last ten years haven’t been so good to him box-office wise and he was having some trouble finding a studio to release his latest movie. The Weinstein Company finally agreed to take a bath in the name of art. Keira Knightley hasn’t had much problem putting butts in the seats, at least when she’s not playing a bounty hunter. She’ll try to do it again by playing the woman most lionized for no clear reason, Princess Di. TUESDAY Batman to the Max! To the I-Max! Yeah! Josh unintentionally insults my kids. The next Batman movie is going to be the best thing since sliced bread. Not just any bread, but sliced damn bread. Now word comes that in addition to being a great, albeit still unmade, movie, it will look great in the IMAX format. Everyone that is tired of seeing a movie on a big screen and wants a really, really big screen will rejoice throughout the land. I am not rejoicing at the thought of Josh calling my kids spoiled and rich. If we were actually rich, I wouldn’t mind it so much, but were not. My girls do own American Girl dolls, though, and they are going to make a movie out of one of them. The dolls, not my kids. WEDNESDAY Rafe vs. Josh, like Ali vs. Frazier but much, much whiter. Fox pretends past never happened. Because we’ve all been getting along a little too well lately, we are having another Great Debate. This time, Rafe and Josh are determining if 3D will be where movies are headed. I sure as hell hope not, since I can only stand so many rocks and spears being thrown at my head. Another thing I can’t stand is any Die Hard movie except the first one. For some reason, though, people are upset at what is happening with the latest mess starring Bruce Willis. Bruce has to pretend that the previous movies don’t exist, I wish I could. THURSDAY Josh blames us for Shrek the Thrid Stoolies get free grub at your local multiplex. Every once in a while we get a bee up our butts about some movie or another. Right now it is the just opened Knocked Up. The Judd Apatow comedy starring Seth Rogan has got us all guffawing and we want you to guffaw, too. So go see this movie or the free world as we know it will be ruined for evermore, or something. If you do go and someone is bugging you with their damn cell phone or their damn movie piracy, you can snitch on them. Regal Theaters will even give you free food if you tell them about bad stuff that happens when the lights go down. FRIDAY Some Rings extras want their share of your action figure purchase. All those actors now have a car to stand around. Some New Zealand actors who were in the Lord of the Rings movies are pissed because they didn’t get their share of the merchandise sales. I’m not sure how many people buy merchandise to get Third Orc From the Left or The Guy on the Horse Next to the King, but fair is fair. They are suing New Line to get theirs. The line forms behind Peter Jackson guys. Perhaps they can all drive to court in the new Mach 5. The car from the big screen version of Speed Racer was revealed in a picture. It looks pretty cool, almost like they had a drawing to go from. That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
Comment on “news:blended 5.26 - 6.1”Note: This website is not intended for use by minors. The views expressed in this comments section are not necessarily our own. Comments that we deem to be poorly worded, off topic, or threatening will not be published. For free, uncensored discussion visit our forum.Leave a ReplyMAIN SITE NAVIGATION
HOME l ABOUT US l l SEARCH l MOVIE NEWS l MOVIE REVIEWS l MOVIE PREVIEWS l DVD REVIEWS l DVD NEWS l SOUNDTRACKS l FEATURES DATABASE l TELEVISION l MUSIC l GAMES l CELEBRITY l TECHNOLOGY l RSS 2.0 FEEDS l MESSAGE BOARDS l LIVE CHAT l SYNDICATE US l LINKS | CB STORE | GIANT FREAKIN ROBOT This site is operated by Cinema Blend LLC. For advertising inquiries, contact Gorilla Nation. CinemaBlend.com is a private, independently owned website which is intended only as entertainment. The views expressed on this website may or may not reflect those of its owner. Don't take us too seriously. Made in Webta Labs 
|
|
