A trifecta of entertainment tropes may soon be upon us. ABC is mixing together “remaking hit movies into TV shows” with “couples’ pre-wedding problems” for a small screen update of the 1984 comedy Bachelor Party, and they’re sprinkling some “anthology series” on it to make everything a bit more modern. Gentlemen, start your anti-boners.

This version of Bachelor Party will look at love and relationships as guided by three different couples’ points-of-view. One pair is about to get married, one is recently divorced, and the other is just entering a serious relationship. (Kind of like Traffic Light and a bunch of others, right?) According to Deadline, “they experience the trial by fire that is the modern day, co-ed Bachelor/Bachelorette extravaganza.” Should it go the distance, the point is to make Bachelor Party follow a different wedding party each year. So they’re basically making the film’s fanbase die a different death annually.

ABC has ordered a put pilot for Bachelor Party, which is almost like saying they’ve already got the commercials lined up and bus ads printed. At least, unless director Neal Israel or star Tom Hanks has a problem with it, as was the case with Say Anything at NBC. Barring negative outside influence, this project will be produced by The Walcott Co., co-founded by New Girl star Jake Johnson and director Max Winkler, and director Jason Winer’s Small Dog Picture Co.

Adding to the New Girl-ness of this project are writer Josh Malmuth and writer/producer J.J. Philbin, the latter of whom also wrote and produced for Heroes and Dead Like Me. Winer is planning on directing the pilot, and if the project goes to series, he and Winkler plan on switching up the directorial duties as the season goes on. I’m betting they’re going to fight over who gets to direct the donkey episode. Donkey needs his meds.

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Written by Israel and Pat Proft (and based on true events from a producer’s own shindig), the original Bachelor Party followed the exploits of future husband Rick (Tom Hanks) and his party-loving buddies who throw him the wildest party imaginable. On the other side is future bride Debbie (Tawny Kitaen), whose own night on the town crosses with Rick’s in calamitous ways. It’s an unmistakably 1980s film, but still feels a lot fresher and funnier to me than The Hangover ever did. We’re not even going to talk about Bachelor Party 2: The Last Temptation.

Bachelor Party is only the latest of a neverending line of movie-to-TV remakes and adaptations. We can also expect more news on another Hanks project, Big, as well as Rush Hour, Real Genius, The Illusionist and many more. I wonder if ABC would take some Michelin tires and a set of Sears’ best metric tools to give this thing up.

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