It’s the last regular season episode of Survivor, with the finale coming THIS Sunday! Last week, they got rid of the nastiest woman (and I mean by nasty I mean bitchy) on this season – Corrine, and Matty is pissed because he realizes Kenny voted for him. Kenny explains about the fake immunity idol, but Matty ain’t buyin’ it. Crystal is kicking herself for listening to Kenny, and wishes that she too had voted for Matty.

What the freak? Matty is a good guy. My Survivor philosophy includes keeping the people who you would want to win if you don’t – and Matty would definitely be on that list. He’s just a nice guy who hasn’t done anything malicious yet. Kenny is just having some muscle-envy, and definitely some girlfriend-envy, and is letting that cloud his judgment. But I feel the same way about Bob. I think final three should be Bob, Matty & Sugar. That’s the dream team, right there. The good guys SHOULD win in the end!

Kenny goes off on Bob (in whispers of course) for tricking him with the fake immunity idol. Bob totally buys it, and tells him he will give him the Immunity Necklace if he wins it. WTF? Dude, Bob, you better be l-y-i-n-g! Learn from past seasons, and don’t make promises that are going to put your own ass on the line!

The Reward Challenge is an obstacle race that ends in putting three balls into a basketball hoop. Reward is a helicopter ride to a Gorilla Sanctuary, a bed and a shower. Oh, and they get to send someone to exile. Matty breaks out early, and Sugar struggles the whole damn time. She is SO lucky she is super smart – cause her lack of athleticism would do her in.

Too bad for Kenny that this isn’t a video game, ‘cause he’d win fo sho! Just as Matty is shooting his last ball in, Bob and Kenny come running up and start shooting too. Bob sinks it first and he gets to take someone with him and he chooses Crystal and Kenny to go with him. He clearly chooses who he is aligning himself with and sends Suzie to exile.

While Bob, Kenny and Crystal are gorging themselves they strategize over the immunity necklace they haven’t even won yet. But, they do make a plan and then they take a much needed shower (individually, not collectively). They all dress up in African garb and the Rangers come in and give them the 411 on the Sanctuary. This HUMONGOUS male gorilla takes to the group and follows them around their tour – he is gorgeous, and makes Bob think about the connection they must have. I missed the connection, but whatever!

Suzie chooses the limp gourd and hangs out in the Sugar Shack for her term on exile. Either she’s not interested, or she doesn’t think she’ll find an idol. Maybe there isn’t one since Sugar’s is still in play? I don’t remember that rule.

Matty begs Sugar for her idol, and tries to make her see Kenny does not have her best interest in mind. She isn’t interested, and he’s more than frustrated. Poor Matty!

Kenny and Crystal confront Matty about his anger toward them – and Crystal says something about Karma being a bitch. She confronts him about him changing, and saying that they had his back. Is that why you schemed against him last week? Sugar stands back and sees all of this, and sees that Crystal and Kenny are conniving and nasty. She promises Matty he isn’t going anywhere. Matty isn’t sure if he trusts her, but he doesn’t have a choice right now.

Immunity involves a blindfolded obstacle course and a puzzle that involves putting a mask together. I don’t think anyone has to worry about Crystal or Suzie on this one…

Matty is the only one who decides to gather all of the pieces first, and Crystal can’t even stay on the course. The others get their first bag and start putting pieces together. Matty gets all of his bags and starts to work on his mask. Matty has to head back at least once to check the mask again, and Bob is nearly there. It’s a dead heat between Bob and Matty – and it’s Bob! DAMN. My only hope is that Sugar can work some magic and convince Bob to vote with her and Matty.

I’ve been meaning to say for a couple of weeks that Nobag has to be the worst name for a tribe ever.

Kenny and Crystal decide to take his Immunity necklace and backdoor Bob. They tell Sugar and Matty about their plan, and tell them they have to tell Bob that they are going to vote for Kenny. Sugar isn’t down with the lie and spills her guts to Bob. But, Bob doesn’t know if he can trust her. How crazy is this game – that someone who is completely honest and plays with her heart right out there on her sleeve can inspire feelings like this.

Matty questions whether Bob will blindside Crystal, and Sugar tells Matty to let her do the thinking, and thankfully she is playing her idol even though she has no inkling that anyone will be voting against her.

Probst puts a target squarely on Bob by pointing out that he is smart and strong, and he keeps winning. Kenny says he can’t believe an old guy is dominating, but Matty says he’s glad that it’s Bob and not someone of less “caliber”. Nice jab!

Kenny tries to overstate his danger, to make Bob feel compelled to give him the damn necklace. I’m so irritated by that little worm, I just want to put duct tape over his mouth. Probst mentions that this is the last night to play the hidden immunity idol, and Sugar pulls it out of her bag. Probst also mentions that this wouldn’t be the first time that someone played an idol that wasn’t. Randy seems appalled that Sugar has it.

Bob does NOT give Kenny the necklace, and voting commences. Crystal votes Matty, Matty votes Crystal, and the rest are a mystery. Probst tallies the votes, Sugar hands Matty the hidden immunity idol, and Probst declares it authentic.

Two votes for Matty that don’t count. Three votes for Crystal, and she’s G-O-N-E. Suh-weet!

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