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The Fear Monger: M. Night Syamalan's Micro Horror, Turkish Boogeymen And Zombeavers' Oscar Campaign

Happy March, stokers of all things flammable. Where I live, it’s Mardi Gras season, so the mood is a little more festive than the usual dripping darkness. Plus, red velvet king cake. So forgive me if I sit back and stare into space while you read through the following pages. If you read through the whole article, you’ll find out about some genuinely interesting things happening in in the genre, and there will be king cake for you at the end. The king cake is not a lie.

Because I love Stephen King and because upcoming adaptations of his works are currently plentiful, here are a couple of tidbits about that. Blumhouse’s Mercy, starring Dylan McDermott and Mark Duplass, isn’t leaving Universal’s shelf anytime soon, and they’re considering tinkering with reshoots on The Strangers’s director Bryan Bertino’s thriller Mockingbird, but nothing is confirmed. Not a good sign of quality. Now feast on this first image from Tod Williams’ adaptation of King’s manic horror Cell, starring John Cusack, Isabella Fuhrmann, and Samuel L. Jackson. They aren’t doing anything particularly interesting, but most importantly, they’re not listening to the electric tone that makes people crazy.

cell still

Speaking of crazy…

m night shyamalan

M. Night Shyamalan is Knee-Deep in Production on Microbudget Horror Sundowning

Let me see hands in the air of everyone who groaned when they read that headline. Considering Shyamalan looked like the next great director, both in and out of the genre, it’s something to consider how his worth is now viewed. In any case, he’s a little less than two weeks into production on Sundowning, which he’s been talking about on Twitter in the past few weeks. Sundowning is a psychological disorder involving dementia and confusion.

Shyamalan hasn’t given away too much on the plot, unsurprisingly, but he announced a crew who previously worked on Darren Aronofsky’s Oscar-nominated movies: The Wrestler cinematographer Maryse Alberti, Black Swan production designer Therese DePerez and costumer Amy Westcott, who worked on both of those films. You can track his photo progress on his WhoSay account. Psychological horror from the man that gave us Unbreakable, I’m into, but if this is anything like The Happening 2, I’m avoiding all future assignments in writing about it.

zombeavers oscar

Zombeavers Wants to Take Over the Oscars

I already can’t wait to see Jordan Rubin’s upcoming horror comedy Zombeavers, since it actually looks pretty solid. But now they’ve upped the marketing ante with a trio of "For Your Consideration" posters that parody some of the Best Picture nominees, complete with zinger blurbs, from such people as "Nobody of Note" and the director’s mom. Really, I was sold just on the hook and trailer, but now it’s really starting to go places. I can’t wait to see if they try to stage a projection of the film on the Hoover Dam or something.

So you’ve seen the Gravity spoof above. Now get a load of this guy’s mustache in a Her knock-off, followed by American Hustle. We don’t know when BenderSpink and Armory Films will be putting this one out, but we’re dam sure going to let you guys know. It’s impossible not to take the easy pun, by the way. I know it sucks.

zombeavers oscar

zombeavers oscar

Open Windows poster

Eyeball This New Poster for Elijah Wood and Sasha Grey’s Open Windows

When it comes to time travel movies, they don’t get much leaner and tighter than Nacho Vigalondo’s 2007 breakout Timecrimes, so there is good reason to believe this technology- and sadism-riven thriller Open Windows will be a voyeuristically wild ride. And this poster is cold and strange enough to enforce that feeling.

In the film, Elijah Wood plays Nick Chambers, the winner of an online contest that allows him to meet the actress of his dreams, Jill Goddard (Sasha Grey). But the prize gets cancelled, and Chambers’ disappointment is soon met with a call from her "campaign manager" Chord (played through voiceover by Kill List’s Neil Maskell.) that gives him access to every camera Goddard has in her life, from phone to computer to home security. But Chord has other plans beyond just turning Chambers into a pervert. SXSW has been kind to Vigalondo in the past, and he’ll be premiering Open Windows there on Monday, March 10. Check out this hectic trailer.

Turkish Boogeyman Comedy Thriller Gulyabani Looks Pretty Bonkers

It’s like something of a tradition for me to share a trailer show in a language that I can’t speak, which is nice because it usually means a film’s subject matter is that good. For Turkish director Orçun Benli’s Gulyabani, though, I have absolutely no idea what is happening. There’s a house in a forest where people try and predict the future, and also a few hunters whose roles are suspect. And then there’s this Leprechaun-looking fortune teller ghoul that comes out once.

No clue on when or if this flick will ever get any time here in the U.S., but I’m hoping a trailer with English subtitles hits at some point. BloodyDisgusting has a bunch of stills, mostly bits from the trailer. Don’t go opening any giant pits in the ground and you might be around to see this one in the future.

gulyabani

gulyabani

lord of illusions

Clive Barker’s Lord of Illusions is Finally Coming to Blu-ray

When I was 12 years old, I watched John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness and Clive Barker’s Lord of Illusions in very close proximity to one another, and I had no idea what the hell I was watching. But audiences at the time didn’t really know what to do with them either, and I’ve appreciated them more at a later age. And the best version of Lord of Illusions you’ll ever see can soon be yours, as Shout! Factory is giving the kooky cult horror a collector’s edition Blu-ray.

While Shout! only made the official announcement, Barker himself spread the word that the set will have "superb" artwork and will have both the theatrical cut and Barker’s "if it isn’t this cut, then it isn’t my cut" version. Along with "interviews, analysis, a profile of [lead character] D’Amour’s world, all the way you to and including The Scarlet Gospels>" That’s pretty interesting, as he’s referring to a long-awaited novel that has plans for a 2015 release. More details and a release date are coming soon. Maybe we can get Scott Bakula to team with Amazon to bring the discs to people’s houses personally.

Nick Venable

Nick is a Cajun Country native, and is often asked why he doesn't sound like that's the case. His love for his wife and daughters is almost equaled by his love of gasp-for-breath laughter and gasp-for-breath horror. A lifetime spent in the vicinity of a television screen led to his current dream job, as well as his knowledge of too many TV themes and ad jingles.