Subscribe To This Rotten Week: Predicting Admission, Olympus Has Fallen And The Croods Reviews Updates
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Three movies on the slate this week and a little something for everyone. Tina Fey helps us get to college, Gerard Butler protects the President and the Croods explore the outside world.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
When your alma mater shows up on this list you can rest easy knowing your transcript and resume will always carry that air of academia, conjuring images of ivy laden walls and high brow, scholarly, liberal arts-ian discussion. Oh, also the wee hour beer bongs and classes like Francophone Lit. The seven years I spent there were amazing.
But to get into this elite group of colleges and universities one must pass through admissions, the highfalutin bouncers standing at the ivory gates with their little lists marked “Good enough”, “Umm, not quite”, or “Yes and tell your parents thanks for the donation.” Tina Fey plays one of them in this latest comedy, about an admissions counselor who discovers the son she gave up for adoption wants to come to Princeton.
The premise is fine enough, but I always get a little concerned watching a trailer for a comedy and not laughing once. Not a great sign and no easy feat considering I could watch Paul Rudd do my taxes and probably just giggle the entire time. Some early reviews back up this relative pessimism as it hovers around fifty percent right now. I actually think it’ll dip a bit over the week as more opinions come in because. For starters Paul Weitz (Little Fockers-10%, Being Flynn-53%) does little to boost comedic confidence. He had a little juice in the past but it’s been a long time since About a Boy. Additionally, I usually don’t focus on “Top Critics” in this format, but they are especially down on the movie. I think as more reviews come in the score drops some more. Won’t be going back to college on this one. The Rotten Watch for Admission is
Olympus Has Fallen
Gerard Butler has been having a rough couple of years. Recently Chasing Mavericks (33%), Playing for Keeps (4%) and Machine Gun Preacher (29%) stunk up the big screen. Before those he threw in Coriolanus (94%) but that was just to wash off the stink of The Bounty Hunter (13%), Law Abiding Citizen (25%), Gamer (29%) and The Ugly Truth (13%). That’s an average of 30% without even counting Movie 43 because half of Hollywood made that mistake. Now granted Tinsel Town is nothing if not forgiving (just ask Adam Sandler), but I tend to think Butler’s got to be nearing the end of his leash.
Let’s look at the roles Butler’s proven he can’t play: surfer, ex-soccer player, gun-toting clergy, bounty hunter, criminal, video game avatar, morning show host. That eliminates quite a few movie options. Roles he can play: Roman-style gladiator type. That’s it. What’s a guy to do? Save the President of course. He’s about to cross government agent off his inept acting resume. (That’s going to only leave washed up actor roles-coming soon for sure).
Olympus Has Fallen, directed by Antoine Fuqua (Brooklyn’s Finest-42%, Shooter-48%), has Butler as a disgraced Secret Service agent galavanting around the White House thwarting a terrorist plot hell bent on getting a full tour of the grounds (impossible right now, damn you Sequestration!). It looks like your standard action fare with explosions, shooting, bad guys and undoubtedly a twist in the final act. Nothing new or particularly interesting, though it doesn’t look completely irredeemable-- which means it could be Butler’s finest work in years. Not saying much. The Rotten Watch for Olympus Has Fallen is
Eep lives in a cave which she sees as overly confining and stagnating. Growing up in a place devoid of cultural influence, light, innovation, artistic sensibility and originality is tough. I should know, having spent most of my life in the suburbs. It’s no wonder the girl wants out. The suburbs and caves are no way to spend your life.
The Croods is DreamWorks Animation’s newest offering, telling the story of a family who’ve lived their whole lives in the dark before the walls around them, literally, come crashing down revealing the world beyond. The studio has such a strong track record and this flick will probably fall right in line with the DreamWorks resume. After twenty five movies, their average score is 72% and the median is 74%. Through seven reviews, The Croods sits at 71%. See what I mean?
Directed by Chris Sanders (DreamWorks darling How to Train Your Dragon-98%) and Kirk De Micco (Academy Award Best Picture Nominee - Space Chimps-34%), The Croods tells the story of cavemen who set about seeing the world for the first time. It appears endearing enough and the animation looks like what we’ve come to expect from the studio. It’ll slot right in with the rest of the DreamWorks output. The Rotten Watch for The Croods is
Which Rotten movie will have the highest final Tomatometer score?
Recapping last week:
Sometime around Thursday afternoon my score for The Call (Predicted: 24% Actual: 41%) was looking real good. I was within eleven percent with a chance for a win. But then the Kristy Puchko’s of the critical world decided to weigh in positive and here my scores stands; on the outside looking in.
Meanwhile, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (Predicted: 30% Actual: 39%) was another nice addition to the resume. As Sean lays out, the flick was anything but incredible. A fairly big disappointment considering the comedic talent present. As I contended last week, this kind of thing isn’t in Steve Carrell’s wheelhouse. He need to play the “everyman” or not bother showing up.
Next time around we get to host, go to marriage counseling and fight Cobra. It’s going to be a Rotten Week!