Roman Polanski’s destruction of Pompeii movie has found a cast. Coming Soon says he’s talking to Scarlett Johansson and Orlando Bloom to star in his ancient volcanic disaster flick. Anyone else picturing a scene in which Scarlett’s close get burned off in magically erotic locations? I can’t wait to see Scarlett Johansson explode.

Based on a best-selling novel by Robert Harris the movie will be a dramatic thriller set against the backdrop of a smoking Mt. Vesuvius right before and during its eruption. The story will follow an engineer working on a Roman aqueduct who finds himself wrapped up in politics and romance and, oh yeah, burning, smoldering ash. We’ll follow him around for three days with the movie ending in everything being wiped out. Rather than fixing the aqueduct, maybe our engineer hero should have spent his time finding Tom Hanks and pitching him into the caldera.

Scarlett seems to be throwing herself whole hog into the period movie thing. Her next movie is a modern film called The Nanny Diaries, but after that she’s playing one of the Boleyn’s opposite Natalie Portman, she’s playing Mary Queen of Scots, and she has a Napoleon movie coming up. The good news is that Scarlett really knows how to fill out a corset, the bad news is that this significantly reduces our chances of seeing her in a bikini.

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