Taking a page from my personal life, Regal Cinemas is about to embrace filth. HR says the nation’s largest theater chain will become one of the first to allow Hollywood studios to run red band trailers before movies on their screens.

Don’t know what a red band trailer is? It’s the opposite of a green band trailer. Red band trailers are not approved for all audiences by the Motion Picture Association of America. They’re as R-rated as the movies they’re advertising and usually feature things like cursing, sex, nudity, and gratuitous violence. All the good stuff.

Till now, red band trailers have been restricted primarily to the internet, forcing studios to misrepresent raunchy, R-rated movies like Knocked Up with sanitized, green band trailers which, since they can’t work in the film’s fart and fuck humor, probably give soccer moms the wrong impression. But softcore porn isn't just for the internet anymore, and the next time Kevin Smith wants to have someone screw a donkey in one of his movies, he can tease you with it ahead of time.

Don’t worry though kids, red band trailers may be in the theater, but you’ll never have to see Seth Rogen blitzed out of his mind on mushrooms. They’ll only play before R-rated and NC-17 rated movies, where kids aren’t supposed to be anyway, and if they are in there, then they have bad parents who probably won’t care if their kids hear Jonah Hill substitute the word “fuck” for actual jokes in Superbad.