Crabs? Ewww! Well, Rusty sure learned that being a “Fun” buddy isn’t nearly all it’s cracked up to be. Meanwhile, Casey learned that sometimes you really do have to kiss a few frogs (even if they’re hot frogs) to find your prince. And during all of this, two mediocre parties took place on Greek Row.

The douche bag… bag

The Omega Chi’s are throwing a six-way party for all the best houses on campus to celebrate the end of the restrictions. The Kappa Tau’s aren’t invited, so they decide to throw their own fiesta. Casey informs the rest of the ZBZ’s that they’ll be attending the Omega Chi’s party. Rebecca points out that the KT’s were the only house that would party with them when the Greek’s were in trouble with the school. Granted, her real motivation was likely just to publicly give Casey a hard time by suggesting they attend the KT party and also because she’d obviously much rather be with Cappie at the KT house than attend the Omega Chi party but when you think about it, she does have a point. The KT guys were good to the ZBZs during the probation period. Casey responds to this by assigning Rebecca and her minions the task of being sober sisters. This means they have to sit home and be on call in case any of their sisters are too drunk to get home by themselves.

The Kappa Tau party gets off to a bad start when they realize there’s not enough alcohol. Cappie tries to encourage the guys to get by on virgin jell-o shots (yes, apparently you can make jell-o without vodka!) in the hopes that the placebo effect will be enough to allow people to have a good time. The jell-o was originally supposed to be used for jell-o wrestling but because one of the women set to wrestle is allergic to gelatin, that plan fell through. According to Cappie, when it comes to girls rolling around in jell-o, “Two is art, one is just weird.”

The KT party isn’t going well and Cappie decides to break out the “douche bag bag” and head over to the Omega Chi party to steal all their booze, PCU-style. And that brings us to the other party….

“Like a moose shy of an Abercrombie ad”

At the Omega Chi house, Calvin is juggling Michael and Casey. Michael’s completely unhappy to be at a frat party, meanwhile Casey seems to be having no problem at all attracting guys. But Evan assigned Calvin the task of thwarting all of the other guys’ advances. For Calvin, this means spilling drinks on them and diverting their attention elsewhere. In one case, this is actually a good thing as one guy was boring Casey with his interest in fantasy baseball. But for the most part, Calvin’s distractions are annoying. Casey’s starting to get completely discouraged but then, the dreamy, recently single Ryan Prince approaches her and the two hit it off instantly. Calvin tries to get between them but it doesn’t work. He gets tired of the whole act and tells Evan he’s done. Evan’s done too and takes to drinking away his sorrows while Frannie tries to provide some moral support. Is it me or was she once again, all over him?

Meanwhile, Calvin tries to cheer up Michael, whose only attempt at enjoying the party included guzzling a cup of merlot. His disinterest in the party is not a gay thing. This time, it’s an age thing. Michael’s just unhappy at the frat party because he’s outgrown this sort of thing. Calvin makes it up to him by kissing him. Aww. This relationship doesn’t look like it’s built to last but its fun to watch in the meantime.

Some of the Kappa Tau’s show up disguised as Omega Chi’s (argyle sweaters and all). Upon observing the party, Cappie exclaims, “It’s like we died and went to Gossip Girl!” They quickly get to work on cleaning out the OC house of all their booze. On his way out, Cappie stops to chat with Casey, bringing up the very argument Rebecca made about the KT’s being decent to the ZBZs during the probation.

The Kappa Tau party is mostly revived by the alcohol stolen from the OC house. The only thing missing, according to Cappie, is something “big” to happen to make the party feel right. This ends up coming in the way of a text message from Tina to Rusty. We’re getting ahead of ourselves a bit now, though.

Going back to the beginning of the episode, we learn that Rusty and Tina are doing it constantly. Tina expresses no interest in doing anything with Rusty outside of what goes on in bed. Rusty feels guilty about this and then after a conversation with Cappie, he realizes that he’s just Tina’s “Fun” buddy. After this, Rusty asks everyone for advice about how to deal with it. Ashleigh offers some wisdom based on her amazing memory of Cosmo facts. A funny girl in the bathroom line says Rusty should just send an email. Seriously, that girl was strangely hilarious. They need to bring her back.

Rusty decides he doesn’t like where things are headed with Tina and wants to break it off. Beaver, who had more lines than ever in tonight’s episode (yay!) suggests that Rusty’s going to piss Tina off if he dumps her. Finally, another guy does Rusty a favor by using Rusty’s phone to text Tina (who was calling all day) a message saying it’s over. Tina sends a friendly message back thanking him for telling her and adding that she has crabs. Well this certainly explains the itchiness that Rusty was complaining about earlier. Gross! Did anyone else get a flashback from 90210 when David Silver revealed that the skanky girl he cheated on Donna with gave him crabs? Nasty.

Anyway, all that’s left to add is that Rebecca ditched her sober-sister duties to go to the KT party. Granted, I wasn’t in a sorority but isn’t defying the president of the sorority sort of a big no-no for pledges? How is Rebecca constantly allowed to get away with this stuff? Is it just because she’s the daughter of a senator? If so, how come there haven’t been any repercussions for her minions?

And lastly, Casey’s potential new-boyfriend Ryan Prince turns out to be a terrible kisser. Like too much tongue, chin-sucking, face-eating kissing. Yikes. Whether his lack of kissing abilities is genetic or perhaps, something he acquired while dating one of the Tri-Pi's we might never know. Either way, it doesn't look like Casey will be kissing this guy anymore. So much for that plan. Evan still hasn’t given up all hope though as the episode ends with him going to the ZBZ house with a pizza in the hopes of catching Casey before she goes to bed. He gets there just as the lights go out. Poor Evan. How long will he hang on to the hope that Casey will want him back?

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