Friday Night Double Feature: You Don't Belong Here

This week in theaters horror arrives as ancient Mayan ruins prove they aren’t a happy place to party with friends. Who would have known the location for human sacrifices wouldn’t be a good place to have a kegger? This isn’t the first time a potential vacation spot has been ruined by supernatural forces, however, as evidenced by this week’s double feature.

See, there are a lot of places we just aren’t meant to go to, at least not in the movies. Avoid ancient temples, long-abandoned caves, and the like. Hell, even once-friendly hostels now have an air of menace to them thanks to Eli Roth. It’s almost become a new rule of horror movies: if you don’t belong somewhere, don’t spend any time there, or it’ll pretty much mean your demise… or worse.

If you don’t feel like enduring The Ruins this weekend, here’s a double feature that may provide a similar feeling. Be warned, depending on your tolerance level for storytelling, you may need some alcohol to get through this one, although the same may be true of The Ruins, where sweet release from imbibing is less accessible, at least at most major theaters.

The Descent

Since I’m going a little campy this week I almost kicked off the double feature with The Cave, which is instead suggested as an alternative below. Why recommend a poor version of what The Descent does better? Instead of ancient ruins, the place to avoid here is a cave, which, unfortunately, five long-time friends head straight into, discovering it’s inhabited by creatures who aren’t real happy about the interlopers. Director Neil Marshall’s latest picture may have been a bust in my mind (although, ironically, you’ll probably find it in the ranks of the double feature one day), but The Descent really showed how far the director was willing to go. The blood flows pretty freely at times, but The Descent isn’t just an excuse to hose people down with gore. There’s quite a bit of artistry at work here with Marshall creating a true feeling of claustrophobia as the audience follows the protagonists on what becomes a rapidly failing attempt at survival.

The Keep

Honestly, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to work The Keep in to a double feature for a while now, although I recognize the movie may not be for everyone. Despite an amazing cast that includes Ian McKellen Gabriel Byrne, and Morgan Sheppard, this movie doesn’t fire on all cylinders, most likely because the final product is considerably shorter than director Michael Mann’s initial three hour cut, which means a lot of the continuity and ability to comprehend what’s going on landed on the cutting room floor. Still, this story of a Nazi occupied ancient fortress that winds up containing an evil force is quite a bit of fun if you’re less nitpicky. It’s been years since I’ve seen it, but the movie has held quite a place in my memory and I’d love to have an excuse to watch it again. Unfortunately it isn’t just an excuse I need. Despite several announcements from people in the right places, The Keep still hasn’t come to DVD at all, which means you’re going to have to break out the VHS or laserdisc to enjoy this one. Maybe now that Mann has gone a little more mainstream the studio will let him have his cut back and we can all enjoy The Keep on DVD. Unless you’ve got a VHS copy available, you’ll probably have to replace this with one of the suggested other titles below, but keep The Keep in mind as one worth watching if you have the opportunity.

Other places you aren’t meant to be: The Cave, Deep Star Six, The Evil Dead, Hostel, John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness

Enjoy our Double Feature suggestions? and maybe we’ll use them in a future column.