Armond White may be the most famous movie critic in America, not because of the strength of his opinions or his writing, but because more often than not, his opinions are insane. This is the guy who wrote off Amour as a "grisly death story" and reviewed Resident Evil 5 and The Master together solely so he could say Paul W.S. Anderson is more talented than Paul Thomas Anderson. Even in person he manages to throw bombs-- somebody heckled Michael Moore as he presented at the New York Film Critics Circle awards on Monday, and rumor has it it was Armond.
But you don't have to be in the room with the guy to be baffled by him-- just check out the latest installment of his annual "Better-Than List," in which he picks a movie everybody loves and offers a movie that's totally better than it. Like how Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and Taken 2 are both better than Zero Dark Thirty.
No, seriously, he said that, and a bunch of other crazy stuff in the list you can read here. His reasoning is equally inscrutable: "Neveldine-Taylor and Olivier Megaton revealed the post-9/11 zeitgeist in genre tropes, while Bigelow reduced the zeitgeist to an enigmatic comic strip, a “mission accomplished” delusion." His argument for why the Eddie Murphy flop A Thousand Words is superior to Argo is a real head-scratcher: "Brian Robbins and Eddie Murphy dared the most personal Hollywood critique since Clifford Odets’ The Big Knife; Ben Affleck trivialized Hollywood accountability." And why did he compare the two indies The Dark Horse and The Turin Horse, other than the fact that they both have "horse" in the title? He's not saying: "Todd Solondz’s modern soap opera steadily, comically bored into our self-deceptions, while Bela Tarr’s highbrow jape steadily bored us."
White's reviews are often the subject of Internet uproar, but it's hard not to just be amused when reading something this out-there-- he's a troll, sure, but one completely dedicated to his bizarro vision of the world. He might be wrong, but he's at least consistently and amusingly wrong.
Staff Writer at CinemaBlend
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