The Decade: TV's Top 10 Biggest Badasses
It's not easy being a badass (ask Chuck Norris). The cards are usually stacked against you, time is often running out and its often up to you to save the day. You have to leave your badass-stamp on the whole situation. This decade has proven that tough guys and gals come in all shapes, sizes and professions (although being some kind of operative helps.) Let's take a look at the television badasses of the decade.
Jack Bauer: If the clock is ticking and you need some mental or physical feats of toughness then look no further than this ex-CTU agent. No terrorist scheme is too large, no coverup reaches too far, no form of transportation is too unfamiliar and he certainly isn't above electrocuting on the spot if he feels you have even the slightest piece of information effecting national security.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when he ripped open the neck of a torturer, with his teeth. Said torturer got just a little too close to this lethal, terrorist-killing machine.
Captain Malcolm Reynolds: The captain of the smuggler ship Serenity has a sense of humor, but not when it comes to anyone threatening his ship and crew. A man who lost his faith after losing the war, he aims to misbehave while making a living doing honest thuggery.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when Crow vowed to hunt him down, Mal calmly kicked him into Serenity's engine intake.
Jack Bristow: More about the strategy than the emotion, Jack Bristow is the consummate agent. And while he may be cold and unfeeling at times, there is nothing he won’t do for his daughter. When the mole Haladki put Sydney’s life in peril, dear daddy put his hand in a vice grip and ultimately shot the bastard. It’s not just his superior training that makes Jack Bristow a badass, it’s his ability to do absolutely any despicable act in order to keep his daughter alive.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when Arvin Sloane informed Jack that has become immortal and Jack responded by setting off an explosion to bury himself and the series long villain alive.
Keith Mars: A divorced dad and a disgraced sheriff, Keith Mars is a man with a lot of scars. Besides being Neptune’s best private eye, he had to raise a teenage daughter while on surveillance duty. He taught her the tricks of the trade and provided her with Backup. He even dove through fire to save her. You want to ask his daughter out? Guess again.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when he scared a deadbeat tenant away who was acting psychotic to his landlord to get out of paying rent. Keith acted even more psychotic by jumping around, yelling, and even barking at him until he left.
Sayid Jarrah: “I am Sayid Jarrah, I am a torturer!” Is there anything else that needs to be said? OK, then. Sayid breaks people’s necks with his legs with the ease most of us lay back in a chair with a beer. He’s the go to man of the Losties to get information out of an enemy. And he’s so determined at getting the job done he not only pointed a gun at a child, but shot him point blank.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when he killed a man using a dishwasher.
Sydney Bristow : Need something done on the sly only to have to escape a last second explosion? Sydney's your lady. She's a genius, speaks every conceivable language, is a master of disguise, hot as hell, and can kill you sixteen times before you hit the floor. Bonus: her dad also made this list so it's definitely in her genes.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when she rode a high-powered sled out of a nuclear power plant with a giant ball of fire chasing her down.
Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace: This hard-drinking, cigar-smoking ace pilot is so badass, she punches out her Colonel when we first meet her. But the Galactica could not have gotten through many scrapes without her. Whether she is really the savior of humanity or harbinger of death, Starbuck gets the job done.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when she was held prisoner by the Cylon Leoben, she killed him over and over again, even though he always returned after resurrecting in a new body.
Dr. Gregory House: Where most TV docs are whining about their relationships, House is too busy pushing the boundaries of human decency and medical malpractice to diagnose the unsolvable cases. Breaking and entering is not a suggestion for House’s team, but a mandate to get past the lies patients tell. There’s no law or rule of etiquette free from House’s desire to solve every problem thrown his way.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when he shot a corpse in the head.
Omar Little: "OMAR COMING!" No two words struck more fear in the hearts of the Baltimore drug trade. Badasses should have elaborate facial scars and Omar had the scariest one of them all. He was kind of like Robin Hood if you replaced the tights with a trench coat, the bow and arrow with a sawed off, and the merry men with, well nevermind, he had his own band of merry men.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when he stared down Brother Mouzone, guns drawn in the alley, Old West style and said, "this caliber? from this range? Even if I miss, I can't miss."
Vic Mackey: I like my badasses to have broken moral compasses. A true bruiser shoots first and justifies it second. Vic wore a badge like few others because he used it to get whatever the hell he wanted. Money, power, his friends killed. Whatever.
Made Chuck Norris most proud when took down the Armenian money train. A good badass needs his share of the spoils.
Honorable Mentions from the rest of the CB staff go to: Jayne Cobb (Firefly), Jim Brass (CSI), River Tam (Firefly), Dean Winchester (Supernatural), Patty Hewes (Damages), Michael Westen (Burn Notice), Ben Linus (Lost), Jon Stewart (The Daily Show)
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