Here’s my theory: Donald Trump has an entire staff dedicated to putting together his own personal nightly news program. This program, Trumpline, is where he learns that his hair looks fabulous and The Apprentice is the “yoogest” show that has ever graced American or international airwaves. It is also where he got the idea that cure for Paris, Britney and Lindsay’s woes are two little words: “You’re fired.”
The New York Post's Page Six is reporting that Trump is planning to save the trio of tabloid darlings by having them compete on his celebrity version of The Apprentice.
"We're negotiating with Britney right now. Can you imagine her doing it?" Trump told Page Six. "We're not sure what will happen. She's a [bleep]ing mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she'd be great." He also says Hilton "wants to be on, and we're thinking about it, but I don't know if we're going to do it."
As for Lohan, he said, "Another [bleep]ing mess. We haven't asked her yet, but I'm going to call her this week. It would a positive thing for her to do . . . for all of them."
This is great. My favorite part is how he’s all, “hmm, I don’t know about Paris. I’m not quite sure the biggest tabloid draw of the past ten years is a good fit for my reality show that was all but canceled by NBC a few months ago.” I love it when The Donald plays hard to get.
If for some insane reason the starlets pass up this opportunity of a lifetime, Trump will still be okay. According to Trump, "There are more than a hundred others who want to be on the show." Celebs who are reported to be on board already include ex-Apprentice villain Omarosa, Pete Rose and everybody’s favorite grill maker, George Foreman.
One celebrity who isn’t one of the hundreds? Rosie O’Donnell, who responded to Trump’s invitation with a curt, “not in this lifetime or beyond.” The Donald, staying true to form, now denies ever extending the invitation in the first place.
While the success of Celebrity Apprentice remains to be seen, Trump can at least take comfort in the fact that in his mind, it will always be “the #1 show on television.”
Celebrity Apprentice is set to premiere midseason on NBC.
