This Rotten Week: Predicting Dark Shadows Reviews

By Doug Norrie 2012-05-06 12:31:23discussion comments
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This Rotten Week: Predicting Dark Shadows Reviews image
Fairly slow week this time around for the Rotten Watch. I guess no one wanted to screw around with The Avengers. Who can can blame ‘em? Whedon and company are blowing everyone away. This week we’ve got shadow-y cats Johnny Depp and Tim Burton reunited.

Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.

Dark Shadows
What do you think it's like at Johnny Depp’s house? And if you know, please don’t ruin it for me because I’ve got a vivd imagination and would rather just create his pad in my mind. I imagine a lot of scarves. Plenty of blacklight. Bongs everywhere. Well adorned and bejeweled mannequins in each room. Between 15 and 43 cats, all black. A bust of Sitting Bull. Bach’s Toccatta and Fugue in D Minor playing on a constant loop in the background. Someone that looks like her serving Appletinis. And a midget or two. Sounds about right don’t you think? Coincidentally, I imagine Tim Burton’s house to be about the same, except Helena Bonham Carter is running around screaming and stuff at his place. It’s why Burton and Depp are a match made in Odd.

These dudes have worked on six live action movies together, an unbelievable amount for a director-actor team. In fact, I don’t think any other Hollywood duo comes close to this amount of teamwork. If anyone knows of any, pass them along. I’ve got nothing. Together they’ve done:

Alice in Wonderland-51%

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: 86%

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-82%

Sleepy Hollow-67%

Ed Wood-91%

Edward Scissorhands-91%

Those flicks average out to 78% on the Tomatometer, an impressive number. And besides probably investing in industrial sized barrels of Ben Nye’s “Super White” Face Powder and a whole host of midnight black clothing apparel, these dudes do seem to put together quality flicks.

But I wonder if with their latest, Dark Shadows we might be getting close to some style fatigue here. How many times can we see Depp in roles like this with Timmy B? It feels very “been there, done that.” Granted I’m not really a Burton fan, so I admit my opinion is a bit skewed. Here Depp plays Barnabus Collins, a vampire come back to haunt the 1970’s (where he’d probably fit right in) with the flick based on the long running soap opera of the same name which aired in the late Sixties. But really it looks like Depp playing Depp and Burton doing Burton. Again, been there, done that. I think critics will trend close to the middle, and like Burton and Depp’s trip down the rabbit hole, it won’t be a complete critical darling. The Rotten Watch for Dark Shadows is 45%.



Is Doug's prediction for Dark Shadows accurate?

  Results



Recapping last week:

Not counting this one on the old resume because a ton of reviews were already in for The Avengers (Predicted: 92% Actual: 94%) and I’m a man of moderate integrity. Bottom line is this flick crushed it critically and box office-ly. It’s a behemoth. Not much else to say that hasn’t been written by Kristy here, Sean and Katey here, Katey in this one, or Eric in his review. So yeah, Cinema Blend has been getting its Avengers on of late. All quality reads.

Next time around we sink some battleships, get Ali G as a dictator, and figure out what to expect when we’re expecting. It’s going to be a Rotten Week!
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