Let’s say something terrible happens to someone you know. For the sake of argument, let’s say a cousin who you’re kind of close to gets straight up murdered by some unknown hood. You need answers, and you want them quickly. Who should you go to?

If this is real life, the answer is obviously the real cops. If this is fake TV life, however, you need to choose carefully to figure out which detective is best. Since I can’t get enough of whodunits on television, whether in procedural or serial format, I’ve decided to lend my expertise by picking out the ones I think would be most likely to solve your poor fake cousin’s murder.

Here are 15 current television crime solvers, ordered by their murder-solving ability, complete with best and worst case scenarios.

”good
#15) Hank Voight (Chicago PD)
Worst case scenario: Detective Hank Voight is a full blown dirty cop who lines his own pockets and does whatever he needs to do simply to advance his own career. He will not solve your case because there are other things he feels like doing. He may also intimidate and belittle you because he’s sort of a dick, or if all goes to shit, beat you up because you looked at him wrong.

Best case scenario: Detective Hank Voight is only a borderline dirty cop who has adjusted his behavior to live on the fringes in order to better help the city of Chicago. He sees enough outrage/ money/ fame in your problem and decides to pour all of his time and his loose morals into figuring out what happened. He makes it his personal, obsessive mission to solve the case and issues his own brand of street justice, saving you and your family from having to go through a trial because NO ONE FUCKS WITH HIS CITY.

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