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Call Of Duty: Ghosts Launch Trailer Makes Hollywood Proud, Gamers Puke

Oh boy, reading the comments for the latest Call of Duty: Ghosts launch trailer is more entertaining than the trailer itself. You could make an evening out of reading the comments for the one minute video that is jam packed in each and every second, with all the explosions and contrived drama that you would be hard pressed to find in equal measure from a two-hour Hollywood blockbuster.

Heck, even Transformers, the one with the grammatically-challenged name, had fewer explosions than what's found in the Call of Duty: Ghosts launch trailer and that movie was the visceral diarrhea of the Chernobyl blast captured in film format.

Basically, there's no story whatsoever located anywhere in the trailer. Apparently people who play CoD are attention-deficient and coherency isn't something they're interested in when buying a game.

From start to finish the trailer rims the brim with stuff that you would imagine as being part of a boardroom discussion where a clueless thirty-something marketing executive says “We need a trailer that captures the edgy excitement of today's youth generation. What's something that'll have them talking on all the social media outlets?” and there's this proverbial response that spearheaded what we see in the launch trailer above... “Explosions! Kids love things that blow up... just look at Transformers – and oh yeah, that movie with George Clooney and Sandra Bullock in space – let's include a clip of some explosions in space. Kids love space and kids love explosions and both of those make a lot of money!”

Cue launch trailer above.

The focus group tested and marketing approved video that contains a minute of buzzwords, typical music from a sellout artist and enough action without context to make even diehard core gamers grimace with chagrin, is almost an all new low... almost.

The comments for the video range from hilarious to downright gut-bustingly funny, we have Paul from Facebook saying...

“gameplay trailer-shows nothing but set pieces and barely interactive moments “

To a Gametrailers native going by the handle of redfields writing...

“I cannot believe that the fishes swims away like this! WHOAAA! I never saw that in video gaming!”

My favorite was a response to the system requirements, in which Gvilbrun states...

“dont forget the fish A.I. man, you're gonna need at least 2 titans in sli to be able to run this bitch ;p “

One user even went as far as to pull out the old “game reviewers must be getting paid to say this piece of crap looks good” schtick, writing on the YouTube page of the official trailer...

I wounder how much COD payed IGN, Examiner, and Craveonline to say all the good stuff about Ghosts? Admit it, that crap is fake as can be. "Boldly takes us where no Call of Duty has gone before." Are you kidding me? Ghosts is only another reskinned COD which will just? end up disappointing the millions of people that buy it. Sorry COD but you have lost a customer.

Well, Activision wanted to explore more dramatic territory in this reskin – oops, I mean outing – and that's why they included Riley the dog. You even see in that clip that Riley has some wolf rivals and he'll probably die trying to save the player from The Grey happening, or maybe he'll die trying to save the player from the explosion caused by the space station terrorists in that faux Gravity segment. Either way, Riley is going to die and we all know it, but Activision loves pulling at those heartstrings. So the real question is: how will Riley die?

Activision also went over and beyond to include next-generation gameplay features such as fish AI; they spent millions making sure that uneducated casual gamers will spend $60 to see fish swim out of the way.

Whether or not casuals will buy up CoD: Ghosts the way core gamers bought up GTA V remains to be seen, but I get that sinking feeling that Activision may not hit the $1 billion mark with Call of Duty: Ghosts quite as fast as Take-Two Interactive did with the latest Grand Theft Auto.

Will Usher

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.