2006 is going to be a critical year for the movie industry. Can the box office recover? Will they get audiences back in theaters? Or will everyone just give up and focus on making DVDs? That's where it'll go if Mark Cuban and Steven Soderbergh have their say. Let's hope the industry listens to the likes of M. Night Shyamalan instead. Of course they'll be more inclined to listen if Night's next movie is a hit. But forget the box office receipts and political/religious controversy. 2006 is really all about Superman's return. Here's Cinema Blend's look at what's coming in 2006 that you need to pay attention to. It's not all there, but we'll try to hit the highlights. Read on!
THE MOVIE: Hostel
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? January 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? How do you feel about Jay Hernandez? Then no.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Gore freaks get their jollies.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? If you stand outside the theater and watch who goes in, it's a great way to figure out who to stay away from.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Hostel preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? January 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Director Uwe Boll helps the following people get rich: Ben Kingsley, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Madsen, Billy Zane
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Uwe Boll searches for new ways to make money off of bad movies without the benefit of a German tax law loophole.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because you secretly love Uwe Boll... or as he might say it... love super fantastic Uwe does everyone.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full BloodRayne preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? January 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Kate Beckinsale and Bill Nighy forced to work with Scott Speedman
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Taking your money and hurting you.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Kate Beckinsale wears leather pants.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Underworld: Evolution preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? February 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? They won't be after this is released.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Steve Martin remakes the work of someone who was as funny as he used to be.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? It's kind of like watching a car wreck. Scratch that, it's more like actually being in one.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Pink Panther preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? February 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? You've probably heard of The Man in the Yellow Hat.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Would you like to pet Will Ferrell's monkey?
WHY SHOULD I CARE? If you have fond memories of the book from when you were a kid, you can probably take your younguns to see it without fear of having those memories torn up.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Curious George preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? February 2006... maybe
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Hugh Jackman, Hugh Jackman, and Hugh Jackman
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? The search for the fountain of youth is delayed with director Darren Aronofsky decides he'd rather hang out with the cast of "Lost" than make a movie.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because it's so crazy, it just might work. No one's really sure what this movie is about, but everyone agrees it sounds pretty cool.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Fountain preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? March 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Kevin Smith directs and stars silently.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? The end of Kevin Smith's career... and possibly his dignity.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because watching Kevin's complete credibility meltdown is sort of fun. Plus, it's hard not to root for the guy to turn this career tailspin around.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Clerks 2 preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? March 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? No Fred MacMurray. Nothing else matters, not even Tim Allen.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Lucretia Borgia puts a curse on Wilby Daniels, turning him into a dog... whoops wait no that's the original, good version. This new remake version is about torturing the audience with the Baja Men.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because this is a perfect example of why Disney can no longer survive without Pixar.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Shaggy Dog preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? March 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Hugo Weaving (whose face you will not see), Bald Natalie Portman
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? A heroic terrorist battles an oppressive government in a dystopian future.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? It's based on the acclaimed comic by genius writer Alan Moore, the Wachowski's are involved, and the subject matter is so relevant you'd think it was written in yesterday instead of in the eighties.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full V for Vendetta preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? March 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Since Serenity flopped... nope.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Nathon Fillian proves he's better off fighting nasty slugs than being supported by a fanbase like the Browncoats.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because you'll enjoy watching Browncoats suffer when it makes more money than Serenity. Plus, Nathan Fillian's the kind of guy you want to root for to become a big star. He's Harrison Ford if no one had ever watched Star Wars.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Slither preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? March 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Not really, but their tracings do appear.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Another Philip K. Dick adaptation. This time it's in a future filled with drugs. Animation courtesy of that annoying technology used on Waking Life.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because the Dickbot said so.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full A Scanner Darkly preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? April 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Directed by Paul Weitz, starring Hugh Grant, Dennis Quaid, Chris Kline, Willem Dafoe!
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? The acclaimed director of About a Boy and In Good Company makes a movie that mixes modern politics with American Idol. Feel free to have a good shudder.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Even though the concept sounds horrible and the trailer looks unbearable... it's Paul Weitz. He's earned the benefit of doubt.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full American Dreamz preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? April 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Big stars don't sign up for video game adaptations... unless they're directed by Uwe Boll.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? An adaptation of the atmospheric horror video game. Expect fog.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? You shouldn't.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Silent Hill preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? May 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Crazy Mel Gibson directs and subliminally inserts himself into the trailers
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? The fall of the Mayan empire!
WHY SHOULD I CARE? It's filmed in a language you can't understand. Also, the actors all speak ancient Mayan.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Apocalypto preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? May 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Tom Cruise, Laurence Fishburne, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Simon Pegg, Billy Crudup, directed by JJ Abrams!
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Ethan Hunt puts his slow motion moves to use on more spying.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? John Woo is gone and his doves are dead.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Mission: Impossible 3 preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? May 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, a big boat
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? A remake of the classic disastor flick The Poseidon Adventure. A cruise ship gets flipped upside down. New Years Eve sucks.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Big effects might make it a crowd pleaser, even if it is another unnecessary remake.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Poseidon preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? May 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? The voice of William Shatner
WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Forest creatures discover the wonders of garbage in a newly developed housing community.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? People will see anything that's computer animated, but the reason this one matters is named Bill. This is one movie that doesn't need more Shatner.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Over the Hedge preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? May 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Eurotrash Tom Hanks, Sir Ian, Doc Ock, directed by Richie Cunningham
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? The popular book takes it's religious detectivism to the silver screen.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Tom Hanks is in it, and it'll probably make a rediculous amount of money. Mixing religion and popular fiction is a good box office combo.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Da Vinci Code preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? May 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Halle Berry isn't just on board, she's in charge
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Another contrived superweapon threatens the earth, and it's name is Brett Ratner.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because X2 was a fantastic film and even Brett Ratner can't possibly completely ruin its followup... or can he?
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full X3 preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? June 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? The original Sin City cast is back, minus Bruce Willis and the flesh eating Frodo.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? An adaptation of another of Frank Miller's "Sin City" comics. This time they're using "A Dame to Kill For" as a storyboard.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? What, you didn't see Sin City?
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Sin City 2 preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? June 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Their voices are.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? In a world where cars can talk, one of them sounds like Owen Wilson.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? It's a Pixar movie.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Cars preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? June 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Yes, but not as Superman.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Superman returns to Earth after a long absence. He conveniently forgets that Supermans 3 and 4 exist.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? It's Superman and it's Bryan Singer. Singer screwed up X-Men to make this, so it had better be good.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Superman Returns preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? July 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Keith Richards... we think.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Captain Jack owes Davy Jones a debt. He'd better pay up. The first of two simultaneously filmed sequels to Curse of the Black Pearl.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Captain Jack's back!
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Pirates of the Caribbean 2 preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? July 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard as a Narf. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? The life of a humble building manager changes when a mythical creature shows up in his pool.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because M. Night is better than The Village.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Lady in the Water preview page.
THE MOVIE: Miami Vice
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? July 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Yes, they're substituting for the rightful Crockett and Tubbs.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Michael Mann takes the TV show he created to the big screen, but without any of the crappy 80's camp or even the music that made the show famous. Come on man, at least give us the music.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because Colin Ferrell grew boobs to make this movie... well he partied till he grew boobs while making it anyway..
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Miami Vice preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? August 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Nic Cage
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? A man fights crime by setting his head on fire.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because maybe this will finally get the superhero thing out of Nic Cage's system.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Ghost Rider preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? August 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Julia Roberts gets animated.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Ants fight back against bug burning little boys.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? People love computer animation, even when it's bad. This one actually sounds kind of good.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Ant Bully preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? November 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Daniel Craig is on his way.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? James Bond returns for his 21st adventure. This time they try to get back to his roots by basing the film on one of Ian Fleming's books.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Even at his worst, Bond is entertaining.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Casino Royale preview page.
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? Some time in 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Brad Pitt, Elf's girlfriend!
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? The title is pretty much a plot synopsis.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? Because it's not just a plot synopsis, it's the coolest movie title of the year.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Assassination of Jesse James preview page.
THE MOVIE: Dreamgirls
WHEN CAN I SEE IT? December 2006
BIG STARS ON BOARD? Yes, but more importantly it's directed by Kinsey's Bill Condon
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? We're not sure, but crossdressing Eddie Murphy may be involved.
WHY SHOULD I CARE? The aforementioned Mr. Condon, one of the best directors working in Hollywood. The concept is odd, but Condon can't miss.
HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE FOR JOSH? Click here to check out our full Dreamgirls preview page.
