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There may be no greater crap shoot when it comes to movie genres than horror. While some films are legitimately terrifying and can give you all the chills and thrills you’re looking for, others are just cheap cash-ins full of jump scares are terrible effects. How can you tell which one is going to be which? Well, if endorsements might help sway you then the new movie The Witch has got the one that you’ll want to hear. They just got the support of the Satanic Temple.
According to The Cut, the Satanic Temple, which describes themselves as a "non-theistic religious organization," announced that they will be hosting four screening of The Witch across the country, in New York, Austin, Detroit, and Los Angeles. It’s not the worst idea in the world as far as movie marketing goes. In addition to gaining whatever notice you’ll get from followers of the Satanic Temple, you’re likely to also get the word out due to the backlash you’ll receive from people that are horrified that your movie is being supported by a group called the Satanic Temple. It’s what they call a win-win.
To be clear, the Satanic Temple does not actually worship the devil. According to their website, they instead see Satan as a "symbol of man’s inherent nature," and mostly support individual freedom and rebellion against tyranny. At the same time the organization calls The Witch a "transformative satanic experience," and it is a horror movie after all.
The Witch is set in New England in 1630 and tells the story of a farmer who settles on land that is said to be possessed by witches. Why somebody would do such a thing in an era when believing in witches was a thing that normal people did is beyond us, but there’s no accounting for common sense, even in the 17th century. The film was a huge hit at the Sundance film festival last year, earning its director, Robert Eggers, a Best Director prize. Here’s Jex Blackmore, the national spokesperson for the Satanic Temple, talking about why you should go see this movie.
So, with Satan backing The Witch are you on board to go check it out? If you do go see it, please come back and tell us if it truly was a transformative satanic experience. And if it was...please stay away from us, you’re scary.