Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
There was enough super-hero information this week to satisfy the most demanding fan-boy. The imminent release of Spider-Man 3 unleashed a torrent of men-in-spandex news while Cinema Blend writers reminisced about their favorite super-hero flicks of the past. Who knows what super-hero movies are beloved by our staff? Our Number 5 pick, that’s who.
SATURDAY
Avi Arad says something made-up about new Hulk movie.
Avi Arad says that his previous comment about Hulk movie was made-up.
Hulk writer doesn’t take our questions too seriously.
It was a week of bizarre news about the most famous angry green hero, The Hulk. First there was the story about Marvel chieftain Avi Arad saying that the character in The Incredible Hulk was going to be a new color. The Hulk not green? Sacrilege! Then, a couple days later, Avi said he was just kidding. Ha, ha. Man, that’s hilarious. Finally, Lexi Feinberg was able to interview Zak Penn, the writer of the next Hulk movie, at the Tribeca Film Festival. He failed to give a straight answer to anything, but didn’t deny writing the dreadful X-Men: The Last Stand script, which was pretty brave.
SUNDAY
Disturbia rules the box office again…dammit.
Harry Potter trailer wows Harry Potter fans.
Every week it seems that poor Scott Gwin has to try to make the box office round-up seem interesting. He does a great job considering he had to deal with another week of Disturbia at the top of the list. Scott couldn’t figure out why that movie would top Fracture. The whole "people are stupid" is a good catch-all for things like that Scott. In a preview of better days ahead, a new Harry Potter trailer went up on Sunday (another new one debuted on Tuesday.) I’m not a Potter-guy, so it didn’t do much for me, but if you like fake looking magic stuff and a villain with no nose, this movie will please you.
MONDAY
CinemaBlend treated almost like a real thing that people read.
Fake picture looks pretty good, make-up team takes notes.
Well, after doing stories on Hitler, King, Gandhi, Nixon, and Kennedy, Time Magazine finally got around to Josh Tyler. Josh and CinemaBlend were mentioned along with some other Internet tastemakers in an article about the rise in influence of young male fans on the movie business. Josh had his own Navin R. Johnson moment, his name in print! Stay away from the cans, Josh. In non-Josh related news, some joker posted pictures of himself claiming they were of Heath Ledger as The Joker from The Dark Knight. It was later determined that the bozo was just pulling an Avi Arad on everyone.
TUESDAY
Spidey tickets fly off your printer faster than ever.
Two hot girls to make out…movie somehow involved.
On Tuesday we reported that, based on who you believe, Spider-Man 3 advanced tickets are selling three or four times faster than those of the prior movie. That’s good news for the people who are distributing the movie but not so much for those who show up at a theater trying to buy tickets. I’m not going to pre-buy but I plan on trying to catch it opening weekend. I’ll let you know how it goes. In non-Spidey news, Sienna Miller is going to replace Lindsey Lohan in The Best Time of Our Lives. We probably wouldn’t care much but Lohan was going to be making out with Kiera Knightley as lesbian lovers. Now it will be Miller playing tonsil hockey with our favorite pirate wench.
Director tells us his film is not what we think.
Tom Hanks still makes more than you, just moreso.
On Wednesday we had two scoops. We were the Baskin-Robins of the Internet. First, the director of Tortured, Ron Lieberman, e-mailed Stuart to let us know that he takes umbrage with criticism of his movie as "torture porn." Lieberman says that it will be an examination of the hollow feeling torturers get from this type of revenge. Tom Hanks is so full of money he has no hollow places left. We told you that he will get $50 million for the sure to be super-boring Angels & Demons. Insert your own joke about using some of that money to get a decent haircut here.
THURSDAY
We pick our favorite men in too tight clothing.
Queen Latifah pisses me off, big time.
In a very non-scientific poll, the CinemaBlend writers voted for their top five superhero movies of all time. The final votes were tallied and while I don’t want to spoil it for you about which movie came out on top, it rhymes with Bider Fan Blue. There are still a few surprises in there, including the number five choice which shocked the hell out of me. Take a look at what we think and leave your feedback and don’t forget to vote in our poll. The current leader is the movie I voted at number one, demonstrating the intelligence and good taste of our many readers. Not demonstrating so much intelligence was the person who green lit a remake of Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin’s All of Me. That’s bad enough, but the decision to make it a vehicle for Queen Latifah is just too much. Watch this at your own peril.
FRIDAY
Some remakes don’t make us so upset.
Even Tom Hanks couldn’t have paid for all of Spidey 3 costs.
Remake news showed up on Friday as well. Nicole Kidman will star in a new version of Marilyn Monroe’s How to Marry a Millionaire. Josh is risking the ire of Monroe fans everywhere by asserting that this movie is ripe for remake since Monroe was a terrible actress. It’s not clear if Kidman will play Monroe’s role or one of the other female leads. Just so long as Queen Latifah isn’t involved.
Remember when we said that Spidey 3 tickets are selling like hotcakes? Well, that’s good, because there are reports that it is the most expensive movie ever made. Even more expensive than Mother, Juggs, and Speed with Bill Cosby. The reports are that it was as high as $500 million. Think about the small African nations you could feed for a year on that type of scratch. Or, you could pick up a good left handed middle reliever. Either way, that’s a lot of dough. Good thing Tom Hanks wasn’t involved.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback. Also, read our news section, we aren’t always first but we won’t be last.
