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I don't know anything about Congressional hopeful Dan Helmer. He could be the next Abe Lincoln. He could the next Councilman Jamm. I don't know what he believes in. I don't know if he helps old ladies cross the street or if he, God forbid, doesn't pay his parking tickets. Honestly, I really don't care. I don't live in the 10th Congressional District of Virginia. I have very important other things to worry about, but what I can tell you is this dude is about to be elected. Because he just put out a Top Gun-themed campaign ad, and nothing related to or inspired by Top Gun ever loses at anything.
There are no points for second place, and you can't tell me this guy hasn't finished first at every single thing he's ever done in his entire life, minus any singing competitions he may have entered as a kid. This election is over, and it's time we all send our regards to Congresswoman Barbara Comstock. She seems like a nice lady, but I have to question which adviser told her to appear in her opponent's political ad. That'll go down as an all-time awful decision.
Wait, is that not her? Really? It's quite frankly impossible to tell. If it's not her, good old Dan Helmer and his casting agent should be applauded for finding such a perfect lookalike. I mean for Goose's sake, they both have blonde hair and wear red. Check out this side-by-side. Can you guess who is on the left and who is on the right? I'll drop the answer at the bottom of the article.
This isn't about Republicans vs Democrats. This is about boring politics-as-usual vs fun Top Gun references. The former just can't compete against the latter. It's like if someone asked me if I wanted Winterfresh gum, which is always a really solid choice, or Con Air gum, which is really vague but references another stupidly delightful film produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. I'm going with Con Air gum, whatever the hell that is, every single time because movie references are better than not movie references. #HotTake.
This is the portion of the article where you'd probably expect me to tell you what Dan Helmer and Congresswoman Comstock believe in, but I'm not about to spend the next fifteen minutes of my life researching stuff. If you care, here's Google. Go figure it out yourself.
ANSWER KEY: The real Barbara Comstock is on the left. The fake Barbara Comstock is on the right.