Dog Whisperer Finalizes Divorce, Better With Canines Than Women

Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan may have a knack for communicating with canines, but that doesn’t mean he has any brilliant insights into understanding women. The National Geographic star’s wife filed for divorce almost two years ago, and after a long legal battle, the terms of the permanent split have finally been agreed to.

According to TMZ, Ilusion Millan will receive four hundred thousand dollars immediately from her now ex-husband plus twenty-three thousand a month in spousal support and ten thousand a month in child support. With a popular show on television and best-selling books in the past, Millan shouldn’t have any trouble footing the bill, though one would imagine the spousal support portion of the check will likely be written with an annoyed look every thirty days.

In exchange for the generous monetary agreement, the dog whisperer has demanded and received something in return. Ilusion has signed an agreement forbidding her from speaking publicly, writing any books or otherwise communicating any information in anyway that discusses anything that happened during the couple’s relationship. All photographs and video tapes must remain private without clear agreement from both parties.

It’s unclear whether Cesar and Ilusion may have had some skeletons hidden in their closet, but thanks to the parameters of the divorce, I guess we’ll never know. Here’s to hoping this whole thing finally getting settled will allow Cesar to get back to doing what he does best: convincing dogs to stop acting a fool.