TV Recap: Life - Hit Me Baby

Okay. Let’s start with this: Dani Reese is wearing baggy clothes. We’re only seeing her close up and Tidwell just told her about an opportunity with the FBI that will keep her out and about for about a month or so. What does all this have to do with our favorite mismatched partners? Well, it means Reese and Crews won’t be with each other for the next few cases. For their real life counterparts it means Sarah Shahi is pregnant.

Congrats to Sarah but, seriously, how am I supposed to enjoy Life when Crews is bouncing ideas off a blue tooth tech support worker in India? Agh. How dare your fabulous baby news interrupt my TV viewing! I don’t mind close-ups. Really. Oh, I’m just kidding. I know. I’m just so funny. Wanna know what’s not so funny? A guy who is pinned to a wall in his office via a broom handle. Oh yeah, and he was poisoned. Told you it wasn’t funny.

The guy is an investment banker who specializes in derivatives. It means something crazy so we’ll skip that. The main point is this guy, who only has photos of himself with high class escorts in his office, has a specialty that has gone belly up according to Life’s resident banker, Ted. So how does this guy drop upwards of $6,000 for one night on different girls? He doesn’t have any strange banking. And why would some one want to kill him? It clearly was some one who knew him. He drank poisoned wine, after all. But what if he didn’t drink the wine?

Crews and his step-in partner, Bobby, walk the office and find the bathroom, complete with a bathtub. Maybe the killer would want to electrocute guy if he didn’t feel particularly thirsty. The only problem with that is the new outlets protect people from just that. However, upon closer inspection, Crews finds some nail polish in the outlet. Know what? The nail polish renders the protections set up completely useless and now Crews and Bobby know for sure there was a woman here and she killed the banker.

What they don’t know is where this woman came from? The guy did have a date set up that night. In fact, he had only been seeing one woman, Alexa, for quite some time. Turns out this woman was not only gorgeous; she also loved pigeons just as much as the guy did. Yup, you read right. Pigeons. He raised them, loved them, blah blah. And so did this woman. How often do you find a beautiful woman who is interested in pigeons? Exactly. Crews and Bobby discover she had just been tutored in fancying by a premier LA fancier. All of this leads to the idea that maybe this woman wasn’t so random after all. Maybe she’s not a professional escort but a professional hit woman. How do you find a hit woman? You follow the pigeon’s, of course.

The one she got from the fancier came back to the fancier. If it came back there, Crews and Bobby figured it would go to Alexa’s house if the fancier neglected it. Shaw…you know they always know what they’re doing. The bird landed directly in front of a little blue house with a pretty blond girl sweeping off the porch. When the pretty blond girl was brought in, though, she said her name was Carla and none of the people who had met Alexa could say for sure if that was her. She always carried herself differently and she always wore a short, dark haired wig. Still, there was something about her.

Crews decided to pay her a visit a little later, which is when he noticed a few short scratches on the back of her neck. There wasn’t any skin under the victims’ fingernails but there were some human remnants under the nails of some of the pigeons. And one of them matches….well, we don’t know. Before Crews could serve Carla/Alexa with a DNA warrant, she tried to kill Bobby, who was surveilling her from his car. Crews ran in just in time to save him but the girl had fled. Luckily, Crews knew she was going to make a run for it so he filled her gas tank with a diet soda. She didn’t make it too far and Crews got his woman. But we still don’t know why she killed him.

Going back to the victim’s rooftop pigeon coop, Crews noticed way too much food for just a few birds. They eat like birds, you know. Cutting open the bags of food, he finds a stack of money. In the next bag, he finds a gun. Not just a pistol but a high powered sniper rifle. Now it all makes sense. Alexa was taking out the competition. Guess the recession hits hitmen, too. Who knew?

Another case solved and another one pending. What did happen to Rayborn? The head of his security team, Amanda is dying to find out. The first step, after outrightly accusing Charlie is to infiltrate his house. What easier way than to befriend Ted? Really, though, Ted? She looks like an evil little demon. How could you let her in the house and give her access to Charlie’s wall? Ted, Ted, Ted. If only Dani were around to help clean up the oncoming mess. Too bad she’s out with the baby flu, aka trying out for the FBI (who is asking her crazy questions about her father, Charlie, and Rayborn). What kind of FBI is this, again? Guess we’ll find out next week but for now, start speculating.