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Charlie Sheen may be a bit of a mess, but no one's ever accused the actor of not being a professional. Even amidst all the partying, he consistently showed up to work every week and nailed his lines. Then, as you know, he went off to rehab, apparently got it together and is now hellbent on returning to work. Unfortunately, CBS isn't ready, and now they're left in a strange holding pattern. Or at least they were thought to be in a holding pattern until Two And A Half Men creator Chuck Lorre used the weekly episode-ending vanity cards to poke fun at the show's star.
In a message perhaps more humorous than pointed, he wrote, "I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x-rays, cardio stress tests, EKG's and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers. If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed."
Afterwards, as typically happens with these sorts of things, the internet was set ablaze with people preemptively inventing a bitter Charlie Sheen rebuttal that could have caused more delays on the show. That angry response never came. In fact, it was largely the opposite. Today, the actor mused to TMZ, “Chuck, I will outlive you. I will piss you off. I miss you, man.” Now that's the way to handle a lighthearted joke at your expense.
So, just to further clarify, this whole back and forth should have no ill-effects on Two And A Half Men's production schedule whatsoever.