This Rotten Week: Predicting The Last Stand, Broken City And Mama Reviews
Little Rotten Week is celebrating a birthday today, two years old, so I’ve got some party prep to accomplish. But that can wait while we take a look at this week’s slate of movies. There’s Arnie taking a stand, cities breaking and little girls haunted by ghosts (What else is new, am I right?).
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
The Last Stand
I challenge you to find someone with a crazier career arc than Arnold Schwarzenegger. I’m not breaking any new ground in pointing this out, but it does bear mentioning when talking about this latest film. He starts as a body-builder. Then turns “actor” in roles that basically just require him to flex, and then later to flex while saying a few words here and there. He then dove-tails those roles into comedic flicks, one as a freaking kindergarten teacher, all while maintaining a thick “Schwarzen-accent”. Then he takes a break and becomes Governor of the most populated state in the Union (He’s still got the accent mind you). And finally he goes back to starring in action films, shooting big guns and pumping out one-liners. (Oh and also during this time he married, cheated on and divorced a member of the Kennedy clan.) That is like twelve or thirteen different crazy lives all wrapped into one hulking mass of muscles.
Now Arnie is back in what he does best, though to be honest I don’t know much about politics so I’m assuming he was a terrible governor. Again, basing it mostly on the accent. He’s starring in a film that appears light on things like dialogue and plot and heavy on shooting guns, some laughs here and there, more guns and shooting, armored sports cars, explosions, Johnny Knoxville and Arnold looking a bit older but no worse for movie wear. South Korean action director Kim Ji-woon has put Arnold back in that Pre-Governator wheelhouse and honestly the movie looks fun. Schwarzenegger can’t be accused of taking the whole “acting” thing too seriously and that’s a good thing. Even his worst movies at least had a feel of Arnie saying “I know the joke’s on me, it’s fine.” This movie looks like that remains the case. He’s a sheriff who needs to stop a drug dealer from blowing through a small town on the way to the Mexican border. Arnold gets to pick up a Gatling-styled cannon, say some funny lines and keep that crazy career arc going. I think critics warm to it. The Rotten Watch for The Last Stand is
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