Settle Down! Patrick Stewart Has Eaten Pizza Before

By Mack Rawden 2013-05-30 15:50:12
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Settle down, everyone. Patrick Stewart is not the most deprived and sheltered seventy-two-year-old Englishman in the entire world. He’s eaten pizza before. He just hasn’t walked into a restaurant and ordered a single slice of pizza, which is completely different than the conclusion most of the X-Men star’s followers jumped to after he ht up Twitter yesterday to offer up the following…

With the confusion at a fever pitch, Stewart decided to reach out to New York Magazine to calm everyone down and assure them he’s tasted that cheesy goodness before. Here’s what he told the outlet…
”People misunderstood. There was a school of thought that I had eaten my first pizza, but of course how could that possibly be true? I would have had to have stayed locked up in a cellar. But nevertheless, this was my first slice of pizza, which I was only eating because my fiancée and I were a little hung-over yesterday morning and she said what we need is pizza and a soothing drink — and she was right. It solved the problem. But, in fact, it was my first slice, and when it was brought over to me, my first comment was "There's no knife and fork." Of course, I was mocked for thinking that I could eat a pizza slice with a knife and fork.”

There’s something fascinating about the idea of a grown man who has gone his entire life without doing something. That’s why movies like The 40 Year Old Virgin work so well. We love to know how someone could live such a long amount of time without ever experiencing something we take for granted. Obviously, never having had pizza would be the king of all those reveals, but never having had a slice of pizza is still pretty fascinating too.

Here’s to hoping an old guy who really has never had pizza comes forward in order to create the greatest YouTube video ever.
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